A big night for Marco Rubio last night as he continued to play out his strategy of losing every primary

and caucus until he becomes president of the United States. Rubio continued to masterfully gather

only enough delegates to form a small cocktail party gathering in the private back room of a

really excellent French restaurant. To amass any more delegates than that said Rubio would be vulgar

and excessive not to say, Utrei. Some GOP party insiders are now demanding Rubio leave the race

insisting that he is only taking votes away from Ted Cruz and therefore ensuring victory to

Donald Trump who will degrade the office of the presidency, destroy the party and possibly finish

off the American Republic. Rubio laughed off the suggestion with a careless swipe of his cigarette

holder brushing his fur bow a back over his shoulder and saying, quote, a Trump victory would be a

small price to pay for the sheer enjoyment provided by a sophisticated campaign of such

insuction, jua da vie as mine. Rubio went on to say quote, my campaign may not win any states or

delegates or even any votes, but the stylish elegance of such noble june s'équat will surely

waft me into the oval office on the pink clouds of my own imagination. Ted Cruz responded to

Rubio's statements by saying if Rubio didn't get out of the race soon he would quote,

beat the little Cuban bastard to death with a rolled up copy of the constitution.

Told of the exchange Donald Trump merely laughed and sank into the earth in an explosion of

fire and brimstone, his forked tail wrapping around several of his screaming supporters as he dragged

them with him into eternal damnation. In the aftermath, Mr. Trump's approval ratings rose

seven percentage points. Trigger warning, I'm Andrew Klavin and this is the Andrew Klavin show.

As his closest I'm getting through that with our laugh, you're just gonna have to

imagine how funny it would have been if I could have said straight face.

Well, at least we're having fun, right folks? I mean, you're supporting our pleasure.

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