You're listening to episode 88 of the baggage reclaim sessions.

I'm your host Natalie Lou, author of baggage reclaim.com

and I'm here to help you lighten your emotional load.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, it's good to be back yet again.

And it's hard to believe but yes this time next week when

episode 89 comes out I will officially be 40 years old well actually based on my birth time I'll be 40 years old. Well actually based on my birth time I'll be 40 at 3 10 p.m. British

summertime next Friday July 28th. So this is actually the last episode of my 30 week.

So what do I want to talk about today?

Well, this week and actually really quite a lot over the last few weeks but particularly this week I have been

talking a lot about parenting and structure. This has been on my mind really for a while, but it's gotten louder and louder and

louder over the last few weeks. And you may recall if you've been listening for a while that

when my dad passed away in March that I had to recognize some feelings that have been with me for a while around a sense of an adequacy that had crept in. I've found some

explanations for that that have just kept popping into my head over the last few months and

I want to share those insights with you guys because when I shared

them so far with people they've been like oh my gosh that just makes total sense

to everything that I'm through. And it is this, basically this idea that we inadvertently end up making surrogate parents out of other people and yes sometimes things.

And so for you, that might look like you recreating the dynamic of your home

by making your job and your boss like mom and dad and your coworkers like

your siblings.

And then you find that you are in this groundhog day of maybe justifying yourself or you know

trying to you know make yourself you know sort of stand dead but instead maybe feeling

like an outsider.

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