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Slack.com slash DHQ. Journalists and other wastes of God's precious gift of life have

become concerned that Donald Trump's daily briefings may make him more popular. Paul's

currently show presumptive Democrat candidate Joe Biden would defeat Trump if the election

were held today in a country full of idiots voting in total darkness. Trump, however,

leads the Paul's and voter enthusiasm, although enthusiasm for Biden did tick up after he

made a snowman out of rubber bands. Commenting on the situation, blithering per

verification, the third, the editor-in-chief of The New York Times, a former newspaper,

told his mother in his daily prayer to the image of her he drew on a doily with a

Crayola, quote, Trump has craftily created a situation where the public can look at

him directly rather than through the green fog of our descriptions of it. This creates

a clear and present danger that I will strangle on the bile of my own frustrated hatred, fall

down a flight of stairs and land on the dog, killing both him and my completely unirmed

reputation for honest journalism. Clearly, this would be bad for the nation by making

me look like a shrunken, sold moral dwarf who doesn't even own a dog anymore, unquote.

To combat the problem, journalists have made several suggestions, for instance. When

Trump gives his briefings, they may try putting their fingers in their ears and singing

la, la, la, and very loud voices in the hope that when they can't hear what Trump is saying,

...