Congressional Republicans and Democrats continued to battle throughout yesterday over

bill to prop up the American economy during the crisis. Republicans are asking for funds to

support corporations so they can survive the lockdown. Democrats are asking for a gigantic

field of windmills to be planted over the entire land mass of any state that voted for President

Trump with windmill blades that are dusted with biodegradable sparkles and a hurl or rainbow

of thrilling colors through the air as they produce enough energy to power a cell phone for three

minutes every time there's a tornado. Republicans are requesting a series of payouts to workers to

tide them over the downtime until business starts up again. Democrats are requesting the cows be

required to use their hooves to tap out in Morse code the amount of greenhouse gases they're

discharging while at the same time airlines will be required to print the number of calories

in every non-vegan meal served in any state they fly over with each menu vetted by the legal firm

of Pelosi Pelosi and Pelosi. No relation. Republicans are asking that the bill contain funding for

small businesses so they can continue payroll payments. Democrats demand that the bill include

funding for the transgender children's chorus to entertain every union meeting in America with

a rousing chorus of BR guest and that the unions afterward distribute awards for bravery to any

nine-year-old boy willing to do a sexy dance in a pink cancand dress and a guarantee from employers

to pay for the voice funeral after he grows up and commits suicide. The arguments grew heated

as the two sides deadlocked with Mitch McConnell raising his voice to an inaudible murmur,

Nancy Pelosi flying over the Capitol building spelling out the words surrender Dorothy and

Mitt Romney throwing an apron over his face and running around in circle screaming I don't know

what on earth to do in a quavering falsetto. More news as it develops. Trigger warning I'm Andrew

Clevver. This is the Andrew Clevver show.

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