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Well, it's time to say a fond farewell to Cory Booker, who has suspended his presidential

campaign in order to spend more time with his gladiator movies. Senator Booker got the

word that he was not going to be present after the word passed through the mind of every

single citizen of the United States, made a transit through first Western and then Eastern

Europe moved across the Dardenelles to Asia, then down to Australia, from which it spread

throughout the Middle East to the continent of Africa, then made its way to South and Central

America, finally coming up through Mexico, and on to Iowa, where it was received by Cory

Booker, who was completely shocked to hear the news.

Political analysts say that Booker's campaign may have failed because the public was confused

about his persona, for instance, as a dynamic young black man Booker hoped to remind voters

of Barack Obama. But the voters were never sure whether he was Obama, the charming and eloquent

politician or Obama, the jerk who killed the economy and screwed up the Middle East. Booker

hoped to present himself as heroic by declaring that he was Spartacists, but voters just assumed

he enjoyed running around bare-chested while wearing a short leather skirt.

And Booker thought he could win attention by repeatedly declaring that he was the man

for this moral moment, but it turned out that just made him sound like an annoying pain

...