It's really a privilege to get a chance to tell a person's story, so I thank you for that opportunity.

A big theme going through this story is really about shame and how we deal with shame and how we

recover from shame. I was raised out there, I was a closeted Mormon, gay Mormon boy, I'm not

anymore, so that's a big theme, but shame is common to everybody and whatever form it's delivered to you,

you just get buried by this truckload of shame shit and then you find your way trying to get

to stink off you for a long time, trying to get to stink off, trying to get to stink off you for a

long time, for a long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long,

time. I guess I just told myself if you can get through two years of admission without masturbating,

everything's going to be cured. It was intense motivation and so I was able to do that, but then when

I got home I had a nervous breakdown because it was so traumatic being a gay boy on a mission

being stimulated by every little thing and always just feeling, you know, like I would go to them

to get my endowment and had a direction through my whole initiatory thing because men were touching

me while I make it under a sheet, feeling guilty the whole time like why is Satan here with being the

temple? If you want to blame, where does it blame stop? Because the person who are at you was hurt

by someone else, was hurt by someone else, that's a human condition and so I like to think that by

acknowledging the hurt that was passed on to me, that I don't have to go on and out and hurt

someone else. And that's the beauty of it. You know, it just eliminates victimhood. It just

eliminates it because you get to be in it and be so validated and so deeply seen, so deeply seen,

the real sin is in the secret.

This is infants on thrones, baby steps, who want some to preach to? The philosophies of men,

I like magical time, what religion do you? Mingled with humor, I don't believe them,

they will be many willing to preach to you the philosophies of men, mingled with humor,

...