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Slack.com slash DHQ. Queen Elizabeth II has canceled Prince Andrew's birthday party

in the wake of the Prince's BBC interview about his relationship with Jeffrey Epstein.

In a statement from Buckingham Palace, the Queen said she had been planning to a delightful

affair with balloons and a clown and even possibly some ice cream cake. But since the prince

insisted on raping little girls, he did not deserve any balloons and instead would have

to eat his ice cream cake in a room by himself, although she might still allow the clown

to entertain the family privately. In his interview with the BBC, Prince Andrew insisted

that the pictures of him surrounded by bare-brested underage girls on Epstein's private petafile

island were clearly faked since his honorable, but traumatizing service during the Faulkland's

island's war had left him unable to pronounce the word breast, thus rendering him incapable

of instructing the girls to expose themselves. Prince Andrew further told the BBC interviewer

that his service had left him unable to sweat and that that water pouring down his face

during the interview was some sort of miracle, which was further proof of his innocence because

God would not have done that for him if he'd been guilty of raping little girls since God

has generally agreed to frown on such behavior. After the Queen announced he would be canceling

his birthday party, Prince Andrew said he was devastated to learn mummy was crossed with

him and hope that perhaps he would change her royal mind and let him have the balloons

...