Welcome to the Healing Broken Trust podcast. I'm Morgan Robinson. And I'm Brad Robinson.

And today we're talking about the secret trait of serial offenders. So a person gets caught in an affair.

They see the devastation it causes for their spouse, the betrayed partner.

And racked with guilt, they make a solemn vow.

They promise themselves, often in a moment of raw emotion, never again.

It feels earnest, weighty, even unbreakable, but is a vow enough to prevent them from straying again?

Brad, what are your thoughts?

No, it never is.

In every case I've encountered of someone repeating the offense, there's a secret trait that ties them together.

It's not a lack of love or even self-control. It's this.

They weren't honest about the first affair. And here's the rub. The dishonesty didn't just

shortchange their spouse. It shortchanged themselves. We often talk about honesty as a gift

to the betrayed spouse. It's the thing that helps them make sense of what happened,

to wrestle with the chaos and find some order in the story of what happened.

But the truth is, honesty isn't just for the betrayed.

It's equally important for the unfaithful partner.

And here's why.

It's because light is a disinfectant. Affairs are

born of lies, not just to others, but to oneself. Like the lie goes something like this, Morgan.

No one will get hurt. No one will find out. I am in control. I can stop whenever I want to stop.

Okay, yes.

So no one will get hurt.

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