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President Donald Trump has named his new national security advisor and says he's looking

forward to firing him. The soon-to-be dismissed replacement for John Bolton as Robert O'Brien,

who previously served as the nation's chief hostage negotiator, negotiating the release

of such hostages as Danny Birch, Andrew Brunson, James Mattis, and Jeff Sessions. The

families of the released hostages welcome the appointment, although Sessions still remains

hospitalized for shock after the trauma of his experience. In a statement made to either

the press corps or a ravening pack of hellhounds from the fires of tradition, it's become

difficult to tell the difference. President Trump said he was glad to have O'Brien

temporarily on board. The president said, quote, many, many people whose names I can't

remember have said this is a very respected man, so I feel confident he will be utterly

humiliated when I toss him out in some particularly public and unpleasant way. I look forward

to listening to Robert's stupid opinions until I just can't stand it anymore and then

firing him in the tradition of that great, great show, The Apprentice, which died when

Arnold Schwarzenegger took it over because I was the whole reason for the show's success,

even though Arnold was telling himself what a big story was in that ridiculous accent

of his. I mean, how long has the guy been in this country and he still talks like that

...