The city of Charlottesville, Virginia has voted to stop celebrating the birthday of Thomas

Jefferson, who lived and died there.

The move came just two years after the city elected its first bitter pandering mayor, Miss

Eye Pander Bitterly.

Miss Bitterly told reporters, quote, given the racist history of the United States, it's

not enough for bitter panders to be overrepresented in the news media and on Twitter and in university

administrations and in one of the two major political parties, I will not rest until bitter

pandering has become the standard for all human interactions throughout the land.

Unquote.

Virginia governor Ralph Northam applauded the move saying Jefferson could not be forgiven

for owning people the same color as he was when he was wearing black face and pictures

in his med school yearbook.

In a statement delivered after a rousing tap dancing rendition of Mami How I Love You,

governor Northam said quote, as an occasional person of color, I want to express my solidarity

for all the people who are the same color I dressed up as and who are oppressed by Democrats

wearing white sheets in a serious way, not in a hilarious way, me and my pals did it

when I was taking those pictures.

Unquote.

Charlottesville was the scene of grotesque violence two years ago when hate groups come

and dear to local dispute over a statue of Robert E. Lee.

At the time, Donald Trump suggested that if we started taking down statues of men like

Lee, we would soon move on to attacking founding fathers like Washington and Jefferson.

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