Tomorrow is the 75th anniversary of D-Day and thousands of academics are meeting in Vancouver

to discuss why Dodgeball is oppressive.

Over 2,500 American men died fighting fascism on the beaches of Normandy on June 6, 1944,

and the academics are meeting at the annual Congress of the Humanities and Social Sciences

to present a paper about Dodgeball, which says quote, and this is a real quote,

as we consider the potential of physical education to empower students by engaging them in critical

and democratic practices, we conclude that the hidden curriculum offered by Dodgeball

is antithetical to this project.

Unquote.

The presentation of the Dodgeball paper is led by Joy Butler, professor of curriculum

and pedagogy at the University of British Columbia, and thus otherwise unemployable.

Butler says that Dodgeball reinforces the quote, five faces of oppression.

Unquote.

These five faces of oppression are of course happy, sneezey, bashful, sleepy, and doc.

Dopian grumpy are excused because they identify as females who are dopey and grumpy.

Actually, I was just making a wildly offensive joke there.

The five faces of oppression are actually marginalization, exploitation, cultural domination,

sleepy, and doc, which explains why women are always so dopey and grumpy.

On this upcoming anniversary, when men raced up beaches in the face of a murderous hail

of machine gun bullets, mortars, bombs, and underinflated red rubber balls that don't

even hurt when they hit you, the Vancouver academics will also be discussing other oppressive

games like TAG in which a child is dehumanized by becoming it.

...