Our trade war with China is escalating.

President Trump struck first, imposing tariffs on such imported Chinese goods as crappy toys

that break as you're trying to get them out of the incredibly frustrating plastic wrap

and electronics with stolen U.S. technology inside.

China then retaliated by imposing tariffs on imported American goods,

like food, which China says it doesn't need because they have so many people

and they can't really vote, so who cares if they die?

Chinese trade minister, I screw you, told reporters, quote,

China has every right to protect its ability to shaft the living daylights out of other countries

by renegging on treaties, stealing intellectual property, and totally ignoring the rulings of the

world trade organization because we don't believe in freedom or morality. President Trump thinks

he can blackmail us into behaving like decent human beings, but he hasn't got a China man's

chance. Yuck, yuck, yuck, unquote. Market expert, frankly, Panicked, said the trade war provided a

good opportunity for investors to overreact, run amuck, and indulge in apocalyptic sell-offs,

telling CNN, quote, whether the U.S. or China imposes tariffs, it's the American consumer who

pays the price because I'm utterly hysterical and have no idea what I'm saying. Unquote.

Democrat presidential front-runner Joe Biden addressed the issue in a statement to

a suit hanging in a dry cleaners window saying, quote, China has us by the throat because at any moment

they could stop selling us those fried dumplings we all love so much,

causing a glut on the dipping sauce market they could bring our economy crashing to a halt.

Unquote. Biden then turned away and walked into a lamppost, turned 360 degrees and walked into

the post again, then turned 180 degrees and carefully backed up, smacking into the lamppost

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