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Slack.com slash DHQ. The wealthy parents who paid a college consultant to help lie and

cheat their children into elite colleges have hired a prison consultant to help them deal

with life on the inside. Even I can't believe I'm not making this up, but it was actually

reported by CBS News. Although they may find out later, I really did make it up and they

mistook it for reality where upon I read it and mistook it for news and rewrote my own

satire as a satire. Which now I think about it may account for the entire news cycle for

the last ten years. The rich parents had their consultant cheat their kids into school

by such techniques as photoshopping their daughter's face onto the body of Arnold Schwarzenegger

to get her weightlifting scholarship. Then having the daughter show up at Yale claiming

she's had a sex change operation and was now 110-pound female and was off the team. Meanwhile,

Schwarzenegger was later found in a singles bar trying to pick up men since he finally

had the young girls face he always wanted. Okay, some of this I may be making up now,

but I'm not really sure. Anyway, several of the parents caught in a scam are now planning

to plead guilty, although not Lori Loughlin, the star of the 90 sitcom Full House, who

is also accused of being the star of the 90 sitcom Full House, a far more serious charge.

According to CBS, the parents who have pled out have hired Justin Peperney, a former

stockbroker who served prison time for fraud and now works with wealthy clients as a prison

...