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Slack.com slash DHQ. With spring, pitter, patterning into our lives

like little cats' feet or a raindrops or something, movie goers and TV watchers and other people

who have no lives are looking forward to a new season of Hollywood entertainment. How

will our genetic jackpot overlords enthrall, entertain, insult, and debase us in the coming

months while taking our money and using it to promote causes that will destroy everything

we hold dear? Horror fans can look forward to a fresh take on the zombie genre with a chilling

tale of an urban legend resurrected from the grave and brought back to shrieking life

as a soulless entity that devours the brains of journalists. That's the plot of Russian

collusion cemetery, starring Michael Knowles as Rachel Maddow or vice versa. It tells of

a grieving pundits attempt to resurrect her beloved conspiracy by burying it in cursed

ground or on MSNBC, whichever is more horrific. The terrifying beast that results is finally

destroyed when after devouring Brett Barrett Fox, it runs out of journalists with brains.

Marvel will continue to try to ride the intersectional wave to the top of the box office with

its new hero, Wokeman, or possibly woman. The first transgender superhero or maybe

heroine, the origin story tells how Guido Maldon, a mixed martial artist, joins the Avengers

after being bit by a radioactive venereal disease. The transforms him into a woman with

the amazing power to beat up every other woman on earth. Sequels are already in the pipeline,

...