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Slack.com slash DHQ. As the Democrat 2020 presidential field begins to approximate the population

of Pittsburgh, candidates are trying to distinguish themselves by their positions on the issues.

Beto O'Rourke, for instance, says he apologizes for being a white male and regrets having

made a cute little joke about his wife because it's just the sort of thing a white male

would do and then apologize for for which he apologized. O'Rourke says that going forward,

he will be more ashamed of being white, which he hopes will win him the votes of all white

males who are ashamed or who should be ashamed for making cute little jokes about their wives

who may also be white for which he apologized. Senator Kirsten Gillbrand, on the other

hand, says she apologizes for having helped force Al Franken to resign over some silly

incident where he molested a sleeping woman, which he says wasn't silly, and she apologized

for saying it was. Gillbrand said she only forced Franken out as a way of atoning for supporting

Bill Clinton for which she apologized. From now on, when men are molesting women, Gillbrand

promises she will condemn them each and every time it won't result in costing the Democrats

political power, and if it will cost the Democrats power, she will dismiss it as silly and then

apologize. Senator Bernie Sanders did not apologize for the fact that women in his last campaign

were sexually harassed, but he says he apologizes for not apologizing and now apologizes. Joe

Biden says he apologizes for helping to draft tough on crime legislation since it caused

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