Alexandria occasional cortex has rolled out her green new deal and by golly it is the

best green new deal ever.

The cute and stupid congresswoman, don't get me wrong, there's nothing I find more attractive

than a cute stupid congresswoman, put forward the plan that would completely eliminate all

fossil fuels by the year Fantasia and replace them with energy from the sacred diva tri-araman

untree from the movie Avatar.

The green deal would be financed by happy money from the best possible dreams.

So that, and this is a real quote from the plan's original FAQ which has since mysteriously

vanished, the question isn't how will we pay for it, but what will we do with our new

shared prosperity?

Unquote.

That I mentioned she's cute too.

The green deal seeks to eliminate greenhouse gas emissions by, among other things, putting

an end to cow flacholence and jet travel.

The plan's creators do admit there may be problems trying to eliminate both cow flacholence

and jet travel because if cows have no gas, how will they be able to fly?

And if cows can't fly, how will we get from place to place once we eliminate jet travel?

Luckily scientists have ensured the Alexandria occasional cortex they are working round

the clock on this problem and she should just go away now and they'll call her when

they have it solved.

The green new deal not only guarantees a good paying job for everyone but also another

quote from that original FAQ that guarantees economic security for all who are unable or

...