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Let’s Get Vulnerable: Relationship and Dating Advice

EP 649: You Haven't Had 5 Bad Relationships, You've Had 1, Five Times Over (with Dr. Paul Conti)

Let’s Get Vulnerable: Relationship and Dating Advice

Dr. Morgan Anderson

Health & Fitness, Society & Culture, Education, Mental Health, Relationships, Self-improvement

4.71.2K Ratings

🗓️ 6 May 2026

⏱️ 67 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Buckle up, y'all! This conversation is the one I wish I'd had in my 20s.

If you've been stuck in the same painful dating cycle (different face, same heartbreak), this episode is going to hit different. I sat down with renowned psychiatrist Dr. Paul Conti, author of What's Going Right and one of the most thoughtful voices in mental health today, for a conversation that will completely change how you see your relationship patterns.

Here's the truth bomb at the heart of this episode: you haven't had five failed relationships. You've had one failed relationship, five times over. And the moment you understand the pattern, everything change, because the next relationship isn't your sixth attempt. It's your first real one.

In this episode, we get into:

  • Why "just love yourself more" advice isn't working (and what actually heals the pattern)
  • How childhood trauma quietly drives your repetition compulsion in adult relationships
  • The brain concept of salience, and why you keep saying "there are no good men" when there actually are
  • The one emotion doing the most damage in your relationships (spoiler: it's not anger or fear)

This is essential listening for any woman healing her attachment style, breaking toxic patterns, and ready to attract secure, healthy love. Whether you're working through anxious attachment, recovering from emotional abuse, or rebuilding your self-worth, this episode gives you the framework AND the hope.

Connect with Dr. Paul Conti: His book What's Going Right is available wherever books are sold.

This Episode Is Brought to You By Cozy Earth

Y'all already know I'm obsessed with my Cozy Earth Brush Bamboo Jogger Set — I've literally been living in it. The Brush Bamboo Jogger Set is buttery soft, breathable, and somehow gets better the more you wash it. And with their 10-year warranty and 100-night trial, there's literally no risk.

Go to cozyearth.com and use code VULNERABLE for 20% off. And if a little survey pops up at checkout, mention you heard about it right here on Let's Get Vulnerable.

Ready to become securely attached? Apply for the Empowered. Secure. Loved. program using the link below, limited spots available.

👉 Apply now: http://www.drmorgancoaching.co/esl-breakthrough

🎧 Also, if you're not in the Secure. Soft. Magnetic. Audio Course yet, it's one of my favorite resources I've ever created and it's waiting for you right here: Listen now

🔗 Additional Episode Links:


Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Welcome to the Let's Get Vulnerable podcast. It's your host, Dr. Morgan. I am so excited for you to listen to this

0:08.2

episode. Okay. Do whatever you need to do, but make sure that you're settled in for this one,

0:13.8

that you're in a place where you can really tune in, really listen. You might want to get a

0:18.6

notepad, take some notes. This is a conversation that really

0:23.7

changed some things for me and was really powerful. Today, you will hear me interviewing Dr. Paul Conti.

0:32.3

He's a Stanford and Harvard trained psychiatrist. He's the author of an incredible new book called What's Going

0:39.2

Right. And he's one of the most thoughtful voices in mental health today. This conversation

0:45.9

went so many places. And I have to be honest with you, this episode hit me hard. I was reading

0:52.6

his new book on the plane. I read it on the way to L.A. as I was

0:57.4

prepping for this interview. And I had gotten into the intro and I realized really quickly that

1:05.5

Paul and I share something really painful in common. We both have lost someone that we love deeply to suicide.

1:14.4

So as we sat down to record, this wasn't just two clinicians swapping theories. This is real people.

1:24.5

This was tender. I know that he is the kind of person just like me, where we genuinely

1:30.4

care about helping as many people as possible. And this conversation went so deep. It wasn't,

1:39.6

it wasn't just about dating. Of course, we did. We get into all the dating pieces, why you're

1:43.6

repeating the same patterns over and over, why you're repeating the same

1:44.5

patterns over and over, why you never notice the people who are emotionally available and good for you.

1:49.6

We talked about that, but we also talked about the problems with mental health today and what

1:55.8

really needs to change there just as a mental health system. And we went into so many different topics that I know

2:05.6

will be beneficial to you no matter where you are in your healing journey. Okay, so buckle up,

2:12.1

enjoy this conversation. This is one you'll probably come back to. It's one that I hope that you share with your friends, share this with as many people as you know that will need it. And we're going to dive right in. So enjoy this episode. And please, if you want to let me know your takeaways, if you just want to say, hey, this was awesome. I so appreciate it.

2:34.4

I love hearing from you. Please shoot me a DM on Instagram at DR Morgan Coaching. And you can

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