Ep. 604: Raccoon Eviction with Alison Rosen

Jordan, Jesse, GO!

Jesse Thorn

Society & Culture, Comedy, Tv & Film

4.8 • 3.4K Ratings

🗓️ 1 October 2019

⏱️ 76 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Alison Rosen (Alison Rosen is Your New Best Friend podcast) joins Jordan and Jesse for a discussion of Jesse's run-in with a chatty squirrel in his yard and what squirrels at large may do to extract their revenge on his life, the complicated process Alison had to go through to evict a family of raccoons from her house, and how Jordan's meditative potato chip eating practice might kill him.

Transcript

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0:00.0	Give a little time for the child within you. Don't be afraid to be young and free.
0:05.2	Under the locks and throw away the keys and take coffee shoes and sex and run you.
0:10.5	It's Jordan, Jesse Goe. I'm Jesse Thorne America's radio sweetheart.
0:13.8	Jordan Morris, boy detective.
0:15.6	Jordan? Yes. Earlier today, this squirrel was fucking with me.
0:21.5	Oh my god. So you killed him, right?
0:24.0	Well, here's the thing.
0:26.0	Oh, you didn't kill him? He's gonna tell all his buddies.
0:30.0	Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.
0:32.5	Yep. You're a... you're out.
0:35.5	But I thought... so here's the scenario.
0:38.5	Okay. If I mean if the scenario, I don't know what you could tell me that would make me optimistic for your future.
0:47.5	Because you know the squirrels. They're chatty.
0:52.5	And if one fucks with you without getting killed, well basically all of squirreldom knows it.
0:58.5	But here's the thing, Jordan. Yes.
1:00.5	So this is what went down.
1:02.5	Outside my home.
1:04.5	Mount Washington, Los Angeles, California.
1:07.5	And there's a zip code there.
1:09.5	Nine 0065. Great zip code.
1:12.5	Great zip.
1:14.5	So there is a set of power lines that run immediately in front of my house.
	...

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