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The United Nations has taken time off from sending peacekeepers to enslave women in the

Congo and abuse children on the Ivory Coast and run prostitute rings in Bosnia to warn

us all that climate change is going to destroy the world. Again, the UN's Committee on

Screaming Over Unbelievably Disasters or Unsound has announced that because of climate

change, we must dismantle capitalism worldwide or everyone will die. If we do dismantle capitalism,

everyone will still die, but they'll die with a lot less money. The UN says that because

of climate change, there will soon be heat waves, rainstorms and floods. These will be

much worse than the heat waves, rainstorms and floods we have now because there'll be no

capitalism so everyone will be poor. Now, you can see why climate change is so bad.

Now many people have grown dubious with predictions of climate disaster because they're simply

tired of Al Gore dressed in nothing but a towel, chasing masseuses around his hotel room,

screaming, the world is going to end, so touch me now. But the UN says their latest prediction

of disasters much worse than their previous predictions of disaster because they are predicting

a much worse disaster. So when it doesn't happen, it'll be much worse than the other disasters

that didn't happen in the past. Still, there can be little doubt that the climate is changing

and that everyone will die in a spectacular fiery cataclysm just as soon as one of these

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