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Normally here at the Andrew Klaven show, we don't make predictions about what's going

to happen in the future because we don't know what's going to happen in the future. It's

the future. No one knows what it is. But today, as the new political season begins, I have

found a way to overcome that problem by making stuff up. So here's my official political

preview for fall. This week, the Senate will begin holding hearings on the appointment

of Brett Kavanaugh to the Supreme Court. Democrats will repeatedly attack Kavanaugh by denouncing

him as an honest man who will interpret the Constitution as written and thus overturned

the tremendous progress Democrat court appointments have made toward eviscerating our laws in the

service of tyrannical leftism. After Kavanaugh's appointment is approved, Democrats will claim

that Russia hacked the vote by magically causing Democrats to make fools of themselves

and say stupid stuff, like the stuff they said. Hillary Clinton will strongly denounce

the outcome and then pitch face first into an elegant, artisanal, solid bull filled with

Shardinay. In late September, Pope Francis will finally take on the homosexual rape

crisis in the Catholic Church by issuing an encyclical calling for a worldwide ban on

plastic straws. In response to gigantic pit filled with flaming sulfur, we'll suddenly

open up and swallow not only the Pope, but also a substantial percentage of the priesthood.

...