People for the ethical treatment of animals or PETA

has scored a major success by freeing the drawings of animal crackers

from the cruel drawing of a circus that has to minted them so long.

I'm not making this up.

In fact, I wish I were funny enough to have made this up.

But no, it's real.

You know those barnum animal cracker boxes that have a drawing of a circus on them,

with the happy drawn animals happily inside their drawn cages?

Well, someone at PETA, ever on the watch to prevent cruelty against drawings of animal-shaped cookies,

actually spent some portion of their one and only lifetime

writing a letter of protest to the Biscoe Company that makes the cookies.

The letter said, and again, not making this up, quote,

given the egregious cruelty inherent in circuses that use animals

and the public swelling opposition to the exploitation of animals used for entertainment,

we urge Nabiscoe to update its packaging in order to show animals who are free to roam

in their natural habitats.

Unquote.

Well, I'm happy to report, because I know you're all worrying about this,

that Nabiscoe's parent company, Montelez International, rushed to rectify this horrible drawing situation

and redesigned the animal cracker box so that it represents the animals walking on the planes of Africa

so that the drawings of lions are now free to rip the beating hearts out of the drawings of sheep

almost as if the sheep were made to be devoured, like animal crackers.

...