This is it's infants on thrones.

Listener Esser.

Listener Essie. Welcome back to Infants on Thrones. I'm Glenn Ostland and this is our November 2018

listener essay contest where you the listeners get to say what

you want to say how you want to say it where you want to say it and it is more

than a privilege that that wear gets to be here.

That we get to host these on infants on thrones where so many of us are all infants sitting on different kinds of thrones, right?

Today's essay comes from Matthew and is

titled 1984. And after you listen, please go to our website and vote for it and

provide the author some personal feedback.

Winners will be announced in early December.

First place gets $200, second place $100 and third place 50 dollars.

All right, ready, set.

All right, go ahead.

Me, about 12 years old, around the year 1989.

I was in a dilemma. I could see no way out of this dilemma except to attempt to make

myself absent from it some way, somehow. See I was in sacrament meeting at 12 years old, full

of angst, anxiety, self-disgust, guilt, and I could see no way out

in the moment.

Do I take the sacrament and break my baptismal covenants because of my sins, my ugly, horrific,

disgusting, self-satisfying sins that will need to be atoned for?

Or do I not take the sacrament? Show my humility, my contrition, my desire to be better,

...