Welcome to an HBO podcast from the HBO late night series Real Time with Bill Maugh.

Thank you, thank you everybody. Yeah, hi, I'm Mary Poppins and this is real time.

Wow, I couldn't have predicted this. Here I am during the monologue in the rain.

What a man, a John Kusak movie? This is...

Okay, so like I have to tell you, things are getting very weird.

Very weird, I was out driving in LA this week. Not going anywhere, you know, you can't go anywhere,

but just had to get out of the house and I tell you, it's a little area out there.

It's like a movie where all human life has been wiped out except for the gardeners.

And I noticed that the gas prices, they're advertising way low, like under a dollar.

Just like them, dangling it off, we can't take advantage of.

It's like when the wife says, I was horny last night but you were asleep.

Am I right, am I right guys? Am I right audience?

Great crowd, what a crowd today. But no, LA, I tell you, it's a weird thing here.

I mean, I've known people in this town who like locked themselves inside for three weeks,

but it was always because they got a nose job.

And last week, I sound like Rodney Dangerfield.

Last week, I tell you, I was so lonely, I had a home invader, I said, look, you're already here.

Stay for dinner.

I mean, what else can you do? I tried to start new hobbies, you know.

I'm doing a lot of baking. Some days as soon as I wake.

But I don't know what else to do with my time.

I'm home, I waste a lot of time on the internet.

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