meta_pixel
Tapesearch Logo
Log in
Real Time with Bill Maher

Ep. #524: Mayor Eric Garcetti, Max Brooks

Real Time with Bill Maher

HBO Podcasts

News

4.215.4K Ratings

🗓️ 4 April 2020

⏱️ 55 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Bill’s guests are Mayor Eric Garcetti, Max Brooks, Seth MacFarlane, Willie Nelson, and Senator Bernie Sanders. (Originally aired 4/3/20)

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Welcome to an HBO podcast from the HBO late night series Real Time with Bill Maugh.

0:07.0

Thank you. Thank you very much everybody. Thank you please sit down and welcome to Mutual

0:35.4

of Omaha's Wild Kingdom. Yeah, he sounds like a beautiful proud and we're going to be doing something a little different today.

0:43.0

We're going to be taping the show from my backyard where I have a bar. What do you expect? It's my house. I have a bar.

0:52.2

Would you expect to see here a child's play pen?

0:57.9

But I tell you, is this really what it's come to that I'm going to be shot on an iPhone? I feel like an

1:03.9

entree at the cheesecake factory. I mean I want to go out but Gavin Newsom says I'm grounded.

1:16.2

And I am grounded and I have the blue balls to prove it but I'm telling you I am practicing

1:22.8

every safe directive they say I should I make sure I use disinfectant on every surface

1:28.3

that has at least 60% alcohol like Judge Jeanine Piro.

1:36.6

I stay six feet away from strangers eight from Charlie Sheen.

1:43.8

And I tell you this is not a bad idea this staying six feet away from people. I say next we try it with cars.

1:51.4

Well you know for Los Angeles people I tell you the worst part of this is seeing that the highways

2:00.6

are completely empty but there's nowhere to go. I mean some people are looking at porn at home. I'm

2:07.9

looking at I'm looking at photos of the 405 with no cars on them.

2:15.5

But it is getting a little grim around here I have to admit yesterday the highlight of my day was

2:21.1

wiping down the mailman. My stalker was working from home.

2:31.5

But thank you Jesus I have no symptoms unless you count shitting my pants every time Trump talks.

2:41.1

I tell you I am starting to wonder if he's really a doctor.

2:46.6

The other day a reporter asked him about South Korea why they're doing better than we are and he said

2:54.1

I knew everything about South Korea. How many people there are in Seoul South Korea? 38 million.

3:01.4

Okay there's 10 million people in Seoul South Korea. If Trump played celebrity

...

Please login to see the full transcript.

Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from HBO Podcasts, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.

Generated transcripts are the property of HBO Podcasts and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.

Copyright © Tapesearch 2025.