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Real Time with Bill Maher

Ep. #526: Rep. Dan Crenshaw, Fareed Zakaria

Real Time with Bill Maher

HBO Podcasts

News

4.215.4K Ratings

🗓️ 18 April 2020

⏱️ 49 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Bill’s guests are Rep. Dan Crenshaw, Fareed Zakaria and Andrew Sullivan. (Originally aired 4/17/20)

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Welcome to an HBO podcast from the HBO late night series Real Time with Bill Maugh.

0:30.0

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I usually do a great

0:34.0

praises a week free from my home. I'm Bill Maugh. I'm putting the home in

0:38.4

home box office. And you know, I love my home. Oh, home. I love home. Sweet home,

0:46.0

home, home, home. But enough of home. I never thought I would miss traffic.

0:53.0

You know, like my commute today, brutal. There was a two-dog pile-up in the kitchen.

1:00.0

One was overturned. The other was leaking gas.

1:06.0

Thank you. Yeah, it's, it's lonely. I'm not gonna lie. It's lonely. You're out here.

1:11.0

I'm like one of those old widows who just waits for the male man to come.

1:14.0

So I have some sort of human contact.

1:18.0

Lately, I've been leaving home made cookies and lemonade. It's, it's, it's sad.

1:25.0

Last night, my dick said it wanted to start seeing other hands.

1:32.0

Oh, it's, it's, it's rougher on here.

1:37.0

A few days ago, I was watching the movie Once Upon a Time in Hollywood Terrific movie.

1:42.0

And that scene where Brad Pitt answers the door and it's the Manson family.

1:46.0

And I thought, ooh, company.

1:51.0

Really, I am, I'm, I'm afraid I am losing it. I, I am this close to writing a manifesto.

1:59.0

I, last week I, I took mushrooms and facetimes with future meat.

2:09.0

You know, and you know, I'm not the only one. I, I know I'm not. My, some of my sober friends, I know they're drinking again.

2:15.0

I was face-tombing with this guy last week. I saw it in the background.

2:18.0

He had a bottle of scotch, which he tried to pass off as 12 year old hand sanitizer.

2:27.0

But, you know, there's, there's help on the way.

...

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