You are listening to the Life Coach School Podcast with Brook Kistio episode number 392.

Welcome to the Life Coach School Podcast, where it's all about real clients, real problems, and real coaching.

And now your host, Master Coach Instructor Brook Kistio.

Hello, my beautiful friends. How are you today? I am in Columbia, Cartagena, and I'm in heaven.

I'm having such a good time. I am on a girls trip. I've been on the girls trip for the past several days, and we are having the best time.

Girls trips are the best, and Columbia has been gorgeous. My team planned us the most amazing vacation time together, and we are loving life right now.

So I hope you are all doing well. I know that many of you are also traveling now again, and I'm so happy to see where you're all traveling and how much fun you're having.

And I'm just excited for the joy that I see and so many of you all. It's nice. So today I want to talk about criticism.

I coached a client the other day about being able to handle criticism based on your work, based on your livelihood, based on the work you're putting out in the world.

And one of the biggest fears that I hear, especially from new people that want to become coaches, is that they're afraid to put themselves out there.

And it's a legitimate fear. I believe it's a legitimate fear because we are primal in terms of wanting approval, or primal in terms of wanting to be included in the tribe, wanting to be part of the tribe, part of the group.

One of the reasons why we have such a huge fear with public speaking is because we are literally and physically separated from the group when we're standing up speaking in front of a big group.

This whole group that we need to be a part of in a primal way, we are now standing apart from speaking from a different angle versus feeling like we're part of it.

And when we put ourselves out there, when we're writing blog posts or putting ourselves in podcasts or creating new tools, putting ourselves quote unquote out there, kind of alone to be separate from the group with our new ideas.

We open ourselves up to criticism.

And so one of my clients that I was coaching on this, she was a student, she was a life coach.

She had all of, and this is very common, she had all of these very positive, amazing comments and a few not so amazing comments, a few comments that said, you're not doing a good job.

This is terrible. I don't believe in you ish, right? I'm not quoting exactly what the comments were, but that was basically like you're not part of the tribe.

You're out there and we don't approve of you. And I think for her, there was just such a visceral reaction. She wasn't used to it. She hadn't been putting herself out there and was literally like fighter flight went into fighter flight with her own nervous system.

And so I wanted to do a podcast to talk about this. I get criticized a lot. I have a lot of haters and people that say things about me that make me have thoughts that create feelings of disapproval and rejection and being ostracized and all of the emotions that go along with that.

And I think for me, it's a lot less of an issue because I've been at this a lot longer. And I remember when I first published my book, if I'm so smart, why can't I lose weight when I first published that book.

There was so many great comments, so much positive feedback and a few people had negative feedback and I just was obsessing over it.

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