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Marriage Therapy Radio

Ep 390 From Betrayal to Building True Intimacy with Matthew & Joanna Raabsmith

Marriage Therapy Radio

MTR

Self-improvement, Society & Culture, Therapy, Health & Fitness, Marriage, Relationships, Mental Health, Education

4.6690 Ratings

🗓️ 16 September 2025

⏱️ 42 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Zach sits down with Matthew and Joanna Raabsmith, co-founders of the RaabSmith Team, to talk about their journey from betrayal and addiction to building a thriving marriage and coaching practice. They share candidly about Matthew’s struggles with sex addiction and pornography, Joanna’s experience of betrayal trauma, and the long process of stabilizing their relationship. What began as survival slowly transformed into something deeper, thanks to radical honesty, acceptance, and the development of their “Pyramid of Intimacy,” which helps couples rebuild step by step from honesty to safety, trust, vulnerability, and finally intimacy. Now leading a team of couples who help other couples, Matthew and Joanna demonstrate that it’s possible not only to recover, but to thrive—turning personal pain into a pathway for others. Key Takeaways Addiction doesn’t define the whole story - Matthew explains how accepting his past, rather than hiding it, became the turning point toward freedom and connection. Betrayal trauma is real - Joanna describes how deception and secrecy shattered her sense of safety, and why naming betrayal trauma was key to healing. Honesty is the foundation - Their “Pyramid of Intimacy” begins with honesty, because trust and connection can’t exist without it. Recovery takes time and practice - Small, consistent acts of honesty, even about little things, helped restore safety and rebuild intimacy. Second chances can be stronger - Their “second ‘I do’” is richer and more meaningful than the first, because it’s grounded in truth and intentionality. Purpose, passion, and play fuel intimacy - They emphasize that thriving couples cultivate not just survival, but shared joy and adventure. Guest Info Matthew and Joanna RaabSmithFounders of the RaabSmith Team, Matthew and Joanna are authors, speakers, and coaches specializing in betrayal recovery and intimacy building. Their book Building True Intimacy outlines their Pyramid of Intimacy framework. Together, they lead a team of couples who have walked through betrayal and now help others find honesty, healing, and deeper connection. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0

Piroets and power chords, high lips and heavy metal.

0:06.0

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Royal Ballet.

0:26.5

Book your tickets now at saddlerswells.com.

0:30.3

Hi, I'm Albie Manzo, and I am the host of an advice podcast called Dear Albi with my brother

0:34.7

Chris.

0:35.2

I'm Chris Manzo.

0:36.0

My brother hosts an advice show called Dear Alby.

0:38.4

Dear Alby.

0:39.1

I knew having you on the ad was going to be a bad idea.

0:41.8

Listen to Dear Alby on the IHeart app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast.

0:47.2

Hey, everybody.

0:47.8

Welcome.

0:48.1

And thank you for listening to this episode of Marriage Therapy Radio.

0:50.4

My name is Zach Brittle.

0:51.5

I'm here today with Matthew and Joanna Rabsmith. We're talking about

0:54.7

sexual addiction and the recovery from that, what it's like for couples who go through this process,

1:00.4

not just of grappling with the addiction itself, but what it means to kind of pave your way back.

1:07.4

I think there are going to be a lot of people listening for whom this is a really important topic. And the good news is that they have an opportunity you can work with them in the context of

1:16.1

their coaching practice. They have a blog. They've written a book. But I was more interested to hear

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