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Marriage Therapy Radio

Ep 370 Therapists Have Messy Marriages Too | with Desirae Ysasi

Marriage Therapy Radio

MTR

Self-improvement, Society & Culture, Therapy, Health & Fitness, Marriage, Relationships, Mental Health, Education

4.6 • 690 Ratings

🗓️ 29 April 2025

⏱️ 38 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Zach welcomes Desirae Ysasi for her first appearance as a guest co-host—and what unfolds is a warm, insightful, and occasionally awkward conversation about parenting, marriage, culture, and therapist life. From Desirae’s daughter offering podcast advice (“don’t be weird”) to Zach’s reflections on parenting adult children, the two therapists pull back the curtain on their real lives.

They explore how therapists experience their own relationships, what it means to “cherish” your partner, and why Desirae believes couples can still struggle with conflict even when they have all the tools. Their honesty and laughter make space for listeners to reflect on their own relationships—not from a place of performance, but of grace, learning, and genuine care.

This episode is the first of a three-part series with Desirae, and it sets the tone beautifully: smart, soulful, and full of moments that might just help you feel softer toward yourself or your partner.

Key Takeaways

  • You Can Know the Tools and Still Struggle
    Desirae reveals that even as a couples therapist, conflict in her marriage doesn’t always look pretty—but what makes the difference is how she and her husband repair.
  • Cherishing as a Daily Practice
    Cherishing isn’t about grand romantic gestures. It’s about making sure your partner has tangible access to your love and affection—in everyday moments, through small actions.
  • Conflict Isn’t the Problem—Disconnection Is
    Desirae shares that the hardest part of conflict is not being able to be generous. What matters is not just the argument, but whether you can still be open, kind, and connected during hard moments.
  • Therapists are People, Too
    The episode normalizes that even people trained to guide others through relationships have messy, human partnerships of their own—and that’s part of what makes the work so honest.

Guest Link

  • ysasicounseling.com

  • Based in San Antonio, TX

  • Specializes in couples therapy, trauma, and relational healing

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Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Hey, everybody, welcome. And thank you for listening to this episode of Marriage Therapy Radio.

0:05.5

My name is Zach Brittle. And I don't know where exactly to start here. Like, today I get to

0:11.3

introduce you to my colleague and friend, also my boss, Desiree Isassi. Desiree is a therapist

0:17.6

out of San Antonio, who is a leader in the relational life therapy movement.

0:24.2

And, you know, if I have one regret about this set of interviews that you're about to hear,

0:29.4

it's that we didn't wait to record them until after the relational life therapy conference,

0:34.5

which was just this last weekend.

0:35.8

I just got home from Orlando.

0:38.6

It was a great time. Lots of really great speakers and leaders and fellow therapists all trying to figure out

0:46.1

how to do relationality better. Desire was in charge of that event as our host and just

0:52.3

knocked it out of the park. I mean, just she's a force of nature when it comes to

0:56.7

both behind the scenes and stewarding us throughout the whole event. I sort of wish we could

1:02.8

process that together on the podcast, but we recorded these episodes beforehand. So we won't be

1:08.8

talking strictly about the conference, but we cover

1:12.1

plenty of ground. We talk about our lives. We talk about how relational life therapy has infected

1:17.9

our practices and our families. Desiree is new to the podcast scene. So she is trying some new

1:24.0

muscles. I'm excited for her. And I'm excited for you that you get to know her and her

1:29.0

wisdom. This is a very cool conversation. Stick around.

1:33.4

You haven't complimented my hair yet. Well, I was about to.

1:37.5

I cut it. Like an hour ago, you're the first person seeing me with this hair. Like, literally,

1:42.1

even Adam hasn't seen me. I was going to say, you look fancy.

1:45.5

You look like you put it together for your, is this your first podcast?

...

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