Ep 371 Do I Belong Here? Race, Intimacy & Emotional Safety
Marriage Therapy Radio
MTR
4.6 • 690 Ratings
🗓️ 6 May 2025
⏱️ 44 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Zach and Desirae Ysasi pick up where they left off—diving deep into the intersections of race, identity, privilege, and emotional intimacy in relationships and therapy spaces. What unfolds is a profoundly honest and vulnerable conversation about belonging, the emotional labor of marginalized people, and what it means to truly listen and connect across differences.
Desirae shares how her lived experience as a Mexican-American woman shapes her approach to relationships, while Zach opens up about grappling with his identity as a white man raised with privilege. The episode becomes a model of real-time learning and mutual respect, grounded in curiosity and humility.
This is more than just a conversation about culture—it’s about how we show up for each other with compassion, honesty, and a willingness to grow.
Key Takeaways
- Curiosity Over Certainty
Zach and Desirae reflect on the importance of asking questions to understand, not to correct. True connection comes from being willing to sit in uncertainty and learn from others' lived experiences. - Self-Esteem as a Spiritual Concept
Desirae explains that healthy intimacy requires healthy self-esteem—and for many marginalized people, self-worth must be cultivated not from the culture around them, but from a deep spiritual sense of belonging and worthiness. - Therapists are Still Learning, Too
Zach shares a story about unintentionally alienating a client and asks how to be better. Desirae responds with grace and clarity. - Navigating Marriage in a Marginalized Body
Desirae speaks powerfully about what it means to build intimacy in a world that has long devalued your body, identity, and culture. Even with all the right tools, trauma and oppression create layers that take time and care to unwind.
Guest Link
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Based in San Antonio, TX
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Specializes in couples therapy, cultural identity, and relational healing
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Hey, everybody. Welcome. And thank you for listening to this episode of Mirr-State Peridio. My name is Zach Priddle. And I'm here for another episode with Desiree Isassi, who is my friend and colleague. She is one of the leaders in the Relational Life Institute. She's my boss. But she's also my friend, and she's really smart. And and I love talking to her and today we talk a little |
| 0:21.5 | bit about tourism, not the kind that you're thinking of though. It's a very insightful conversation |
| 0:25.7 | for me. We talk a little bit more about winning strategies, how to employ those in your |
| 0:30.9 | relationship with one another. Mother's Day is coming up. Don't forget that. I can't tell you |
| 0:34.5 | how many times I go into my office the week after Mother's Day. And a lot of moms are disappointed and sad because their partners failed to acknowledge what it |
| 0:43.2 | means to be a mom. So that's just a little heads up, a piece of advice for those of you who may |
| 0:48.2 | be wondering whether or not it's a good idea to celebrate Mother's Day. It is a good idea to celebrate |
| 0:52.8 | Mother's Day for your partner. |
| 1:00.7 | And, you know, raising kids is tough. It's tough for moms and dads. And I've long said, or at least recently said that I think raising young adults is harder than raising young kids. We just got back |
| 1:04.9 | from Dallas where we saw Abby that spends time with her. She was one of three seniors in her |
| 1:10.2 | theater studies program selected to direct a play. |
| 1:13.4 | So we went down. |
| 1:13.9 | We saw all three shows. |
| 1:14.9 | Hers was amazing, of course. |
| 1:16.4 | I'm really proud of her. |
| 1:17.8 | And I'm excited for what's next. |
| 1:19.7 | She graduates next weekend, the weekend after Mother's Day. |
| 1:22.6 | So we're going back to Dallas to see her walk and celebrate with her. |
| 1:30.2 | And then launch her into the future, whatever that is. |
| 1:35.9 | And I'm excited about it. But for now, I'm bringing you a second chat with Desiree. We finish up together next week. And then I have three more interviews with couples that I think you'll enjoy, which is, |
| 1:40.9 | this is a cycle that I'm enjoying. I hope you are too. Let me know. You can always reach me at info at marriage therapy radio.com. And if you're interested in becoming a Patreon member, I am sharing more and more behind the scenes stuff. I want to thank you to our new Patreon members for supporting Marriage Therapy Radio and helping us keep the lights on. But for now, this is a very cool conversation. Stick around. |
| 2:08.8 | The question that I was wondering to myself was, like, how many people of color have you had on your podcast before? Like, how many clinicians of color? I can feel myself even, like, |
... |
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