Ep #366: How Projection Is Quietly Destroying Your Relationships (And What to Do About It)
Feminist Wellness
Béa Victoria Albina
4.9 • 1K Ratings
🗓️ 19 February 2026
⏱️ 22 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
#366: Ever been certain someone was mad at you, disappointed in you, or about to leave you… only to find out you were completely wrong? What if that certainty wasn’t intuition at all, but projection?
In this episode, I unpack projection through the lens of emotional outsourcing. I walk you through how your nervous system takes fear, shame, anger, or need and unconsciously assigns it to someone else. From assuming your partner is furious, to spiraling over a short email from your boss, to believing a friend doesn’t care about you, you’ll learn how projection distorts reality and quietly destroys your relationships.
Join me this week to learn how projection forms in the nervous system, why it feels so real in your body, what it costs you in intimacy and self-trust, and how to interrupt it. I’ll also share practical ways to pause between sensation and story, stay present with your own feelings, and respond to what’s actually happening instead of reacting to old fear.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | You know that feeling when someone asks you what you want and your mind goes completely blank? |
| 0:04.5 | Like there's nothing in there except white noise and the question, what do they want me to say? |
| 0:09.5 | That's what happens when you've spent so long outsourcing your sense of safety worth and belonging to other people that you've lost access to your own needs and desires. |
| 0:18.0 | When your nervous system learn that other people's comfort determines whether |
| 0:21.1 | you are safe. I'm Bealbina. I'm a family nurse practitioner, life coach, and somatic |
| 0:26.4 | experiencing practitioner, and I teach people how to stop these codependent and people pleasing |
| 0:31.2 | patterns through nervous system work. Here's what changes when you do this work in Anchored, |
| 0:35.7 | my six-month coaching program. You start to hear |
| 0:38.1 | yourself again. Not the voice that's performing or protecting or perfecting your actual voice. |
| 0:43.2 | The one that knows what you need, what matters to you, what you're willing to do, and what you're not. |
| 0:48.6 | You stop waking up already bracing for the day. Your body starts to feel like home instead of a |
| 0:53.4 | battleground. |
| 1:00.2 | You can disappoint someone and not spend the next 48 hours in a shame spiral trying to fix it. |
| 1:06.1 | Anchored is live weekly coaching with me, breathwork sessions, somatic and nervous system regulation practices, |
| 1:08.5 | and a community learning the same skills. |
| 1:11.8 | Beatricealbina.com slash anchored. |
| 1:30.9 | Join us now. This is feminist wellness, and I'm your host, nurse practitioner, somatics, and nervous system nerd, and life coach, Beia Victoria Albina. |
| 1:38.0 | I'll show you how to get unstuck, drop the anxiety, perfectionism, and codependency so you can live from your beautiful heart. |
| 1:39.1 | Welcome, my love. |
| 1:40.1 | Let's get started. |
| 1:50.5 | Hello, hello, my love. I hope this finds you doing so well. So this week, I want to talk to you about something that's probably, it's probably effing up a significant number of your relationships. |
| 1:58.7 | And you probably don't even know you're doing it. I had no idea I was doing it |
... |
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