The New York Times, a former newspaper, has published an article headlined why women had better sex under socialism.

And no, I swear I'm not making this up.

Apparently, someone at the Times thought some of us were still taking them seriously, and they wanted to put an end to that as soon as possible.

The article is illustrated with one of those Soviet-Europe propaganda photos of an Apple-cheeked female comrade, cheerfully working on the collective farm.

These happy snapshots were usually taken just before the Apple-cheeked female comrade went back to watching her children starve to death in one of the Soviet Union's government-engineered famines that slaughtered millions during the 1930s, while the New York Times continually reported it wasn't happening at all.

Anyway, the article, why women had better sex under socialism is written by Kristen Godsee, who is a professor of gender and women's studies at Bowdoin College instead of doing something useful with her life.

She writes books about how great the Soviet Union was for women, which was in fact true if you're one of those women who enjoyed watching her husband being cardored away to the gulags for no reason, which I'm sure for some wives was actually a good time.

So, in her article, useless gender professor Godsee quotes a deeply suspect study in which women who lived in the Soviet slave states claimed to have more sex and better orgasms.

Professor Godsee says the evidence shows, quote, women had more fulfilling lives during the communist era.

Unquote. Professor Godsee supports this assertion by interviewing one or two women who remember the era fondly and by ignoring the government genocide, blood-soaked purges, life-crushing breadlines, soul-destroying oppression, domestic spying, epidemic alcoholism, and widespread wife-beating that characterized socialist life in Russia.

Now, you may ask, why would a woman write or publish such nonsense? And the answer is, I don't know. Maybe Professor Godsee has some strange, 50 shades of gray-type fantasy about how hot it would be to have sex while being enslaved by a Soviet state.

And if so, I say, who are we to judge her girl's dreams? After all, if the times weren't publishing fantasies about how great socialism is, the paper's pages would be blank, which might be an improvement since the ink wouldn't run when you wrapped fish in them.

In any case, I hope Professor Godsee's fantasies are one-day fulfilled, and she gets to experience such communism herself, so she can have no freedom, no comfort, no safety, and precious little food while crying, yes, yes, yes, oh yes, in the many orgasms she will doubtless have before she disappears without a trace.

To each her own. Trigger warning, I'm Andrew Klaven, and this is the Andrew Klaven Show.

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