All around the country brave left-wingers are finally taking on America's greatest enemy.

Statues.

Yes, leftists who call themselves anti-Fah, a term which means Fah, have taken to the streets

and parks to defend our great nation from these sneaky bronze figures who have perfected

the insidious art of standing absolutely still while pigeons crap all over them.

This have focused their attacks on statues that represent the Confederacy in order to

bring this country together by revisiting issues that were settled in a sea of American

blood over 150 years ago.

After all, if these events are allowed to pass into memory, we might forgive some of the

bad things people did to one another before we were born and move on into the future, instead

of acting like a bunch of primitive tribesmen who keep feuding over the same ancient grievance

forever.

And no one wants that.

As anti-Fah leader Jack Asamite told the Daily Wire in an exclusive interview from his

apartment in the Joseph Stalin home for the morally inexcusable, quote,

quote,

These statues may look innocent standing there all motionless and covered with pigeon crap,

but after darkness falls, they suddenly spring to life and join forces with the voices in

my head to try to reinstall the Confederacy in parks and museums across the land.

We also spoke to anti-Fah, protester Mimi Screamer, as she was busy pulling down a statue

of Beauregard T. Cornpont, the famous Confederate private who fought the battle of, oh my God,

then Yankees have burned down my ramshackle farm.

...