This is the

the baggage reclaim sessions.

This week my mommy talks about family secrets

and it's Spain's wedding ticket

about plus once in this week's seismic question.

I'm Natalie Lou, a writer based in southeast London who is dedicated to helping people to improve their emotional and relationship literacy.

Let's kick this off.

Several months back, I hung out with a friend of mine who was talking to me about how she really, really wants to settle

down, to meet somebody who she could potentially have a family with.

So we got talking about exes.

And then she mentioned that she has 37 of them in her phone.

Most of whom she was in contact with over the course of a year via

what's up or by text. I don't think any of them she was in contact with by phone but periodically she would exchange messages with them

They would typically get in touch like how are you what's going on with you

How is the match has how's work, the weather, whatever. I'll put it this way, none of them got in touch and said,

hey, wow, I made a massive mistake. Let's get married and ride off into the sunset and make a family together.

This is not an anomaly because since I sat with her and helped her

sort of work on deleting these people out of her phone

which incidentally was a great source of anxiety for her. I've met so many other

people who also have a hell of a lot of exes in their phone.

That's why today I really want to talk about the importance of decluttering your exes

because I'll tell you something, if you are serious about being in a serious relationship

...