EP 348: Reader Question - How do I get my drinking partner to try sober sex?
This Naked Mind Podcast
Annie Grace
4.7 • 2.7K Ratings
🗓️ 9 January 2021
⏱️ 9 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
What do you do when you’ve stopped drinking but your partner still does? When their drinking is a turnoff and the taste of alcohol on their breath grosses you out? How do you dive into this difficult conversation with someone you love? Do you rip off the bandaid and just go for it or is there a better strategy? Annie Grace offers her thoughts on a courageous reader’s vulnerable question.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | This is Annie Grace and you're listening to this naked mind podcast where without |
| 0:15.2 | judgment, pain or rules, we explore the role of alcohol in our lives and culture. |
| 0:20.2 | Hey, it's Annie Grace. I hope everybody is doing awesome today. So I have kind of an intense |
| 0:35.6 | question and basically she writes in, she's like Annie, I am so excited about everything |
| 0:43.5 | a sober life has to offer. Specifically, I was reading about sober sex and it sounds amazing. |
| 0:49.0 | It really sounds great to have all of your senses and be present in your body and I'm looking |
| 0:55.1 | forward to that, especially how you describe it with, you know, additional orgasms and |
| 1:00.1 | feelings and stuff like that. However, my husband is almost always drinking when we have sex. |
| 1:06.6 | He's at least tipsy and so I don't know how to experience this with him because I'm so |
| 1:11.8 | turned off by his drinking and even the taste of it grosses me out in his mouth. So do you |
| 1:17.6 | have any advice on how I can get him on the same page to try this out with me? So what a |
| 1:23.6 | great and vulnerable question. First of all, totally celebrate the vulnerability in that question |
| 1:27.6 | because oh my gosh, like so often we all have the same question and somebody's just too |
| 1:33.1 | afraid to ask it and so I totally appreciate it and celebrate that and it's such a great |
| 1:38.3 | great question. And for you guys, you may or may not know, my husband actually stopped drinking |
| 1:42.8 | about a year after I stopped drinking. So it was a very interesting time and I do remember, |
| 1:48.9 | you know, like this, I've heard it said that, you know, sober sex is great but sober sex |
| 1:53.8 | when you're with somebody who's drinking is not so great. And there's variations of that, |
| 1:59.3 | right? There's people who are drinking and you know that they're just not present anymore |
| 2:03.7 | so then that can really ruin it or somebody's just drinking and maybe they just had one |
| 2:08.2 | and they're still very present and they're not even really drunk or anything but you just |
| 2:12.4 | don't like it because you feel uncomfortable for whatever reason which is totally valid |
... |
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