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Marriage Therapy Radio

Ep 339 Outsourcing Emotional Needs

Marriage Therapy Radio

MTR

Self-improvement, Society & Culture, Therapy, Health & Fitness, Marriage, Relationships, Mental Health, Education

4.6 • 690 Ratings

🗓️ 24 September 2024

⏱️ 47 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Laura finds out how Zach did hanging out with her family over the weekend.  Zach shares his struggle between choosing a trendy neighborhood or staying in a corporate setting, leading into a conversation about how environments can affect work and client experiences.


They then discuss relational boundaries and the concept of outsourcing emotional needs. Laura explains how people often put too much pressure on their partner to fulfill all their emotional needs, advocating instead for "outsourcing" some emotional support to friends, therapists, or family members—when done with mutual consent. Zach and Laura also reflect on the pressures partners can feel when they are expected to meet specific needs, especially around physical and emotional intimacy.


They share a couple of sneak peek clips of the new, Patreon exclusive series, So I Married a Relationship Expert.


Episode Highlights:

  • Zach’s Office Dilemma: Zach debates between two office locations—one in a corporate setting and the other in a trendy neighborhood—offering insights into decision-making and how change affects routine.
  • Outsourcing Emotional Needs: Laura explains the importance of seeking support outside the relationship, advocating for healthy outsourcing of emotional needs when a partner can’t meet every need, with mutual consent.
  • Effort vs. Excellence in Relationships: Zach shares a story about a couple where one partner feels validated not because of perfection, but because of the effort made in the relationship. They emphasize how important it is to acknowledge effort even when outcomes aren’t perfect.
  • Acceptance in Relationships: Laura reflects on how some couples reach a point where acceptance of their partner’s limitations is key to maintaining a healthy relationship, rather than continually pushing for unmet needs to be fulfilled.

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    Transcript

    Click on a timestamp to play from that location

    0:00.0

    Hey everybody, welcome and thank you for listening to this episode of Marriage Therapy Radio.

    0:05.7

    My name is Zach Brittle. I'm here with Laura Heck. In case you haven't heard, we are building out

    0:10.1

    our Patreon community, and this is an exciting time to be a part. We just started our book club last week.

    0:15.7

    Those are rolling out as we speak. And then this week, we are launching our new series called So I Married

    0:22.6

    a Relationship Expert. We interviewed a whole bunch of heroes in the field. And in addition, we

    0:28.7

    interviewed my wife, Rebecca, and Laura's husband, Ryan. Rebecca and I, when Laura did our interview,

    0:33.8

    we were pretty fresh off of an argument. And the conversation gets pretty raw. Again, that's rolling out this week, and when you join Patreon, when you join our Patreon, you'll have full access to the video of that interview, as well as all of the experts that have you have coming up, including Laura and Ryan. You can also listen to it using Patreon's private podcast feed and the app of your choice. This week, though, Laura and I are. She's getting ready to go to her triathlon, which was actually this last weekend. I happen to know that she did amazing. She really crushed it. And as always, we're talking through issues that come up in our practice, come up in our lives, and I hope you'll find something to take away because this is a very cool conversation. Stick around.

    1:13.1

    Do you know what it is right now?

    1:15.5

    Soup season?

    1:17.7

    It's soup season.

    1:20.0

    Are you frothing for a brothen?

    1:22.9

    I am so pumped on soup, soups, soups.

    1:26.5

    Today is not fall, but fall, this episode comes out in fall.

    1:28.0

    Oh, yeah.

    1:29.2

    So sure.

    1:31.0

    It's still summer.

    1:32.1

    It is.

    1:33.4

    I made a reference to this. And actually, maybe what I'll do is I'll put this in the Patreon, um, if you're

    1:37.1

    not on Instagram.

    1:38.3

    I did an Instagram video probably last year.

    1:41.3

    And I was pointing out all my favorite cookbooks.

    1:44.0

    And one of them is this

    ...

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