The Fourth of July is on the way. That's the day we commemorate the start of the greatest nation in the world

ever to create a generation of young people who think it's the worst nation in the world.

That's right, after nearly two and a half centuries of an America that has produced unprecedented peace,

wealth, science, health, freedom, and equality. We are now being condemned by the youngsters who created man-buns and duck-faced selfies.

Sure, the young folks say, when the founding fathers declared their independence from England on July 4th, 1776,

they were risking their lives to establish a new creed of liberty that contained the distilled political wisdom of humankind.

But could they binge watch Big Bang Theory while texting emojis and painting their toenails with sparkles at the same time? I don't think so.

The founding fathers included genius inventors and philosophers as well as international statesmen, hero soldiers, and generals.

But they were all white men. Why admire them when you are surrounded by rainbow-colored people of indeterminate gender who know how to make a loud reee-noise to protest white supremacy, patriarchy, and smallpox.

Three things that no longer exist largely because of Americans.

But if there's one thing young people know, it's that America is bad because it doesn't have a big enough government.

Look at socialist countries like Cuba and Venezuela where you have free healthcare.

So if you get injured at a food riot, you can go directly to an abandoned hospital building and get Michael Moore's autograph for absolutely no cost except your freedom and dignity.

Here in Rotten America, because of all the slave-holding Indian-killing worker exploiting capitalist patriarchal white men with smallpox, you have to actually pay doctors for curing you before you send a text to have a three-course meal delivered direct to your dorm room so you don't have to interrupt your conversation about how awful America is.

Because of July 4th, American ideals, creativity and prosperity have lifted the entire world to new levels of freedom and happiness.

But that was so unfair to those cultures that were marginalized, simply because they were different and wanted to remain in the Middle Ages where they could enslave and slaughter people.

And what about American women? Look how oppressed they are.

I would even say that American women have no voice except how would I then explain that loud whining noise coming from some of the most privileged and powerful females on the planet.

So as we approach this July 4th, young people find themselves on the horns of a dilemma. Should they celebrate and memorialize the never-before-seen accomplishments of a nation more powerful, peaceful and free than any that has ever existed?

Or should they sit around in their parents' basements and talk about how woke they are? My suggestion, try to contribute something to the beautiful culture you're privileged to find yourself in.

Or conversely, put a sock in your mouth, which would be a contribution in and of itself.

Trigger warning, I'm Andrew Klaven, and this is the Andrew Klaven Show.

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