In the wake of a project Veritas undercover video that proves CNN is a dishonest, biased,

intellectually bankrupt den of anti-American liars with shriveled souls that look like the

desiccated polyps cursed by the sea witch Ursula in Disney's The Little Mermaid, CNN is responded by

issuing a statement saying, quote, we are not covering this story on air and therefore it doesn't

exist sort of like the corruption in the Obama administration. Unquote, privately CNN protested

strongly against the videos saying they had unfairly shown the news network to be purveyors

of false news and had thus interrupted CNN in their important work of firing journalists who had

gotten caught reporting stories that weren't true. Fortunately CNN says their newsroom is still

well staffed as many of their reporters have not yet been caught. At the same time CNN released a

new poll showing that 90% of Americans believe every story that CNN reports and 97% say CNN is the

best station ever in the whole wide world and 103% say that anyone who doesn't like CNN is a stinky

poo poo head especially if these president of the United States and is mean and ugly. The poll

goes on to predict that Democrats will win every election from now on and then everyone's health

care will be free and no one will die. Also the poll shows 87% of Americans say that anyone who

doesn't believe CNN polls is a danger to the First Amendment or whichever amendment has a whole

press thing in it. Meanwhile CNN quote reporter unquote Jim Acosta is very angry because Sean

Spicer has stopped allowing cameras during the daily press briefing. In a furious on air rant

Acosta said quote, freedom of the press will not survive if I can't grandstand on camera by

shouting obnoxious yet meaningless questions that I can then play on air to make it seem like I'm a

courageous journalist instead of just kind of a loud mouth debag. Unquote by shouting on camera

rather than actually reporting Acosta said he was trying to be like his hero Dan Rather the revered

father of the fake news industry. In truth this hasn't been the best time for CNN the crappy news

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