EP 325: Healing Sexual Blocks In Your Relationship with Adam & Reanna

Life Coaching with Christine Hassler

Christine Hassler

Education, Self-improvement, Health & Fitness, Mental Health

4.8 • 1.7K Ratings

🗓️ 1 December 2021

⏱️ 45 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

This episode is about healing sexual blocks in relationships. Today's callers, Adam & Reanna, want to heal past trauma and have a healthy sex life together. I guide them through an exploration process. This session is useful even if there is no trauma in your past; It is an intimate process that brings couples closer together. And, because in many ways sex is something still taboo to talk about, and often shamed, I want to normalize the conversation.

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode325]

Many times, we think men are the ones who want more sex but it's not gender, sexual identity, or sexual orientation specific. It is life-experience specific. Our experiences impact our sex life. There isn't a childhood trauma that doesn't impact our sex life, even if there is no sexual abuse. Any kind of childhood trauma impacts our emotional, mental, financial, and sex life.

We often forget about intimacy and what a turn-on intimacy can be, even when we are dating. Our bodies talk to us. Especially as women, if we do not feel safe in our emotional body, our physical body will give us signs. And, many of the blocks in couples' sex lives arise because they aren't reaching the levels of deeper emotional intimacy.

Having healthy sexuality is more than just having a good sex life. It is about feeling comfortable in your body, enjoying the sensual experiences of life, and knowing what your turn-ons are. When it comes to sex many of us consider the performance and pleasing the other person versus what feels good.

Healthy sex is about feeling alive and vital and creative. We don't need a partner to have great sexuality and a great sex life. Sexuality and sex is about more than the physical act. It is an energetic experience.

Get my free 2-part Sacred Union process at ChristineHassler.com/SacredUnion. If you are in a relationship or you are your own beloved this is a great process to increase intimate connection in your life.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

Do you have sexual trauma or any other type of trauma that shows up in relationships?
Is sex hard for you? Do you mentally want to be able to do it but when it comes to the physical act your body just shuts down and you experience trauma triggers?
Are you someone who may have an overactive sex drive, sexual compulsion, sexual addiction, or do you look to sex to fill a void?
Does your sex life in your relationship feel stagnant or that it needs some improvement or do you feel stuck?

Adam & Reanna's Question:

Adam & Reanna have sexual issues affecting their relationship. They would like guidance on how to have a healthy emotional and physical relationship together.

Reanna's Key Insights and Ahas:

Her mother didn't talk with her about sex.
She had a teacher be physically inappropriate with her.
She was in a long-term relationship with a controlling person.
She has trauma, shame, domestic violence, and PTSD in her life.
She wants to do the work to have a healthy relationship with Adam.

Adam's Key Insights and Ahas:

He is frustrated because he wants to help Reanna heal.
He wants Reanna to want to have sex with him.
He sometimes thinks he is addicted to sex.
He does not always feel worthy. He relies on physical intimacy to replace emotional intimacy.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

Continue counseling and somatic therapy.
Slowly and gently explore each other. Take baby steps to intimacy.
Practice communicating their needs during the exploration process.

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Transcript

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0:00.0	This is Episode 325, Healing Sexual Blocks in Your Relationship with Adam and Rihanna.
0:08.0	Welcome to Over It and On With It. I'm your host, Christine Hasler, and for over a decade, I've been a life coach, speaker, and author.
0:16.0	Each week, you'll hear me work directly with a caller as I coach them through a goal they want to accomplish or an obstacle they may be facing.
0:22.0	I'll provide a blend of practical and spiritual advice as well as tangible actions you can apply to your own life.
0:28.0	Now, let's get on with the episode.
0:34.0	Hi, everybody. Welcome back to the show. I love it when I have couples on the show. It's so fun to coach couples.
0:41.0	And this is an incredible episode, whether in relationship or not, whether you have any kind of blocks, especially sexual in your relationship or not,
0:48.0	the specific couple who just want to thank them in advance for being so vulnerable, so raw, so honest.
0:55.0	I know their honesty and vulnerability is going to serve so many people, but they're in a situation where the woman has a big history of sexual trauma, a lot of sexual trauma.
1:06.0	And she's in a safe relationship with Adam who has a history of sexual compulsion, even sexual addiction in his words.
1:14.0	And they're in a place where their sex life is sometimes nonexistence, sometimes just really challenging, and they're wanting to overcome it. They're wanting to heal.
1:23.0	You know, Rihanna's wanting to come into really enjoying sex and Adam's wanting to come into healthier relationship with it.
1:30.0	And I think you're really going to get a lot of value from this episode. And even if you don't have sexual trauma or any trauma, the process I do with them is just a beautifully intimate process to bring any couple together.
1:43.0	I think so often when we think about our sex life, we think about the act of sex, and we often forget about intimacy and what a turn on intimacy can be.
1:54.0	And even when we're dating, I noticed this in my dating life until I changed it, I was physically intimate with someone. We get physically naked with someone before I really got emotionally raw and vulnerable.
2:08.0	And let me tell you, that did not work for me. My body would talk to me. Sometimes my body would talk to me in the sense of like a yeast infection going, nope, this was a do not enter like no way Jose.
2:20.0	Sometimes it would talk to me in the form of anxiety. Our bodies talk to us. And especially, you know, I'm speaking from the perspective as a woman, I don't know how it is for men.
2:29.0	But especially as women, if we, if our emotional body, if we do not feel safe, our physical body will give us signs.
2:39.0	I had one client who was in a relationship who had repeated UTI after UTI after UTI. She couldn't get rid of them. She went on all the homeopathic stuff.
2:49.0	You know what stopped her UTIs breaking up with the guy. So I think we need to pay even more attention to what our bodies are telling us.
2:58.0	And a lot of times in sex and sexuality, if the turn on isn't there, maybe there's not enough emotional intimacy, not maybe we're not feeling safe enough.
3:08.0	You know, so many of the blocks that come in couple sex life happen because they aren't reaching levels of deeper emotional intimacy.
	...

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