This week I explain how having a very critical parent significantly influences our relationship with criticism and why boredom can be code for fear of having to spend time with our

undistracted thoughts and feelings. I'm Natalie Lou a writer based in

Southeast London who is dedicated to helping people to improve their emotional and relationship literacy.

Let's kick this off.

When we've been going out with somebody for several weeks or a few months and there is mutual like, the relationship is exclusive, and we're mutually exploring the possibilities.

While on one hand we might feel quite content and enjoy the relationship unfolding, sometimes we can feel quite the opposite and so we feel anxious, afraid, insecure and even frustrated

because we don't know what lies ahead.

This tension, the struggle to be in the present and relax, can cause us to be triggered into attempting to speed up what is a relatively new relationship.

Last year I got talking to somebody who had just come out of a seven-month relationship.

She walked away when he wouldn't say that he loved her, despite all of her attempts to squeeze it out of him.

Here was the funny thing. She admitted that for nearly half of the

relationship she wasn't really into him while he was quite besotted. She

eventually got swept up in the whole thing of being in a relationship and liked being adored and was quite

keen to settle so that she would never have to date again. She liked the picture of herself in a couple. She

also admitted that even though she was chasing him up about his feelings,

she couldn't say that she loved him. She just needed to know that he loved her.

What happened here is very common and it can arise for two reasons in particular.

We're very prescriptive and so we have a picture in our mind of how we think the person should be acting and when they should be lining up

big ticket commitment items like the I Love You's and moving in together and engagement.

Or we're afraid of uncertainty and so we try to ease our fears about it and that tension

by trying to get our partner or the relationship to ease our discomfort.

When we're being prescriptive, it can be about wanting to be in a relationship more than

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