Ep. 3 - How to stop stalking my ex's social media

How to Get Over Your Ex

Dorothy AB Johnson

Relationships, Society & Culture

4.7 • 577 Ratings

🗓️ 20 October 2019

⏱️ 12 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Social media has forever changed heartbreak. It's this added layer of complexity. We continue to look at his feed even when we know it's not gonna make us feel better after the fact. Why?

We tend to scroll the social for two reasons 1) to avoid feeling negative emotion 2) we actually get a hit of dopamine when we look at his/her feed. It's like an urge you get when you've given up sugar and flour for an extended period of time.

There are two methods I teach my clients to ensure scrolling his/her feed is left to a minimum.

In this episode:

Why do we want to stalk his/her social media
What happens when we do
How to not stalk his social media

Transcript

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0:00.0	You are listening to How to Get Over Your Ex with Dorothy A.B. Johnson, episode number three,
0:06.0	how to stop stalking his social media.
0:18.9	Welcome to How to Get Over Your Ex, a podcast on getting over your ex without it just taking time.
0:25.1	I'm your host, breakup coach Dorothy.
0:27.3	Let's turn your pain into power and your heartbreak into happy.
0:33.7	All right.
0:34.8	Can we please talk about something?
0:37.1	Oh, so real for a moment.
0:38.3	Social media and how it's forever changed heartbreak.
0:42.3	I remember when I was going through it, my dad, who is a psychologist, was telling me that he couldn't really relate to my breakup stuff.
0:51.3	I was experiencing because of how social media was so relevant in the breakup.
0:56.8	And I was like, you know what, dad? That is so true. You're 100% correct. When he went through
1:03.7	a breakup, he couldn't see what his ex was doing or who she was with or if she was dating
1:09.8	someone new. He didn't even know where she was in the world sometimes.
1:13.5	It's so bonkers to think about.
1:15.8	Like, it's so crazy to me because social media was so relevant.
1:20.9	And my breakup, it was so crazy.
1:23.0	I feel like I found out everything via social media and very much heavily impacted my life at that time.
1:30.2	So we're going to talk about that today.
1:32.4	So why do we want to check our ex's social media after a breakup and why is it a problem?
1:38.3	There are two reasons that I've identified as leading factors to scrolling through his feed.
1:43.4	One, we are avoiding a negative emotion
	...

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