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Our friends on the left talk a lot about gender, but sometimes the things they say can be

difficult to understand as if they were speaking Swahili or as if they were a possessed child

uttering obscure Latin phrases backwards and then screaming a language no human ear has

ever heard while her head twists around backwards until she subsides into a series of

unintelligible half-cillables and finally ends up staring glassally into the middle distance

with a green slime dribbling down the side of her mouth.

So many of you may ask, what is the left actually believe about gender? Let me explain. In the

past, people believed there were two genders that evolved according to their purposes. The

purpose of men was to say things like va-va-va-boom and then hit each other over the head with

axes. The purpose of women was to look amazing and then have babies, for some reason.

Thus, according to the rules of evolution, men slowly became better at making axes and

other tools such as hydrogen bombs and those things that dispensed soft ice cream to make

Swahili chocolate cone. Women became better at worrying where you'd been till this time

of night and waking you up whenever a baby turned over in his crib seven blocks away.

But according to the left, these gender differences were not caused by evolution. According

to the left, evolution only occurs when you don't want to believe in the Bible because

...