Europe is having a ton of trouble with its Turkish immigrants.

In the old days, of course, Europeans used to do battle with the Turks because the Turks were trying to conquer Western civilization.

Nowadays, Europeans actually invite Turks to sweep into their countries and droves because things have changed.

The Turks are still trying to conquer Western civilization, but Europeans are now weak and stupid.

The latest troubles began when Turkey tried to get Turks in Europe to support a Turkish referendum that would give dictatorial powers

to Turkey's president, Recep Erdogan, pronounced Erdoğan because the Giaz silent, as in Anxter.

Until recently, Turkey had been slowly modernizing because of the secularizing reforms instituted last century by Mustafa Kamal.

Kamal is usually known as Attaturk because of all the people shouting, Attaturk, he who instituted secularizing reforms.

Unfortunately, these reforms have been gradually eroded by President Erdogan, pronounced Erdogan,

because the Giaz silent, as in Wiz, how come you're eroding all those great reforms?

The Turks tried to gin up support for the President's most recent power grab by staging rallies in European countries,

but the Europeans shut down the rallies because they were afraid they would lead to riots and threats of holy war.

To prove these concerns were unfounded, the Turks rioted and threatened holy war.

The Europeans put down the riots, which angered President Erdogan, which is pronounced Erdogan,

because the Giaz silent, as in Hottest.

The Turkish President accused the Europeans of being Nazis, which the Europeans generally don't like because some of them actually used to be Nazis, but are now pretty nice.

What's more, Turkish hackers spread the Nazi accusation by hacking them into very important Twitter accounts,

like those of Justin Bieber, Amnesty International, Forbes Magazine, and myself,

which made me feel like a very important person, who was accusing the Europeans of being Nazis, even though they're now pretty nice.

Geared builders, a hard-line anti-Islamist with amazingly gigantic hair, hope that he would ride the Turkish troubles to election as the Dutch Prime Minister.

Vilders had promised to de-Islamize the Netherlands, but his election bid was rejected because the Dutch apparently preferred to Islamize,

and also the big hair was considered a negative.

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