New stories about the ties between Russia and Donald Trump's presidential campaign are now so complex that it's become difficult to tell whether CNN and the New York Times are lying to try to sway public opinion toward Democrats, or whether they're just making stuff up because they're bored and have nothing better to do.

Let's take a look at the development so far.

Suspissions of Trump's Russian connections first arose when Hillary Clinton lost the presidential election.

All across this great land from West 42nd Street to West 59th journalists began asking themselves, how could a corrupt dishonest socialist old bat who screeches like a tarot dactyl fail to win the hearts and minds of the American people?

The answer must lie in Russia.

See, the Russians had cleverly sent Clinton campaign manager John Podesta an email disguised as a message from Google. The email read, quote,

unquote, completely suckered in by this clever fishing expedition, Podesta sent the sly Russians his password, allowing them to steal and then leak his emails.

These emails shocked the nation by revealing that Hillary Clinton was a corrupt, dishonest,

socialist, old bat who screeches like a taradactyl.

Up to that point, voters may have realized that Hillary was corrupt and probably dishonest.

And okay, they already understood she was a socialist.

And yes, they could see for themselves that she was an old bat who screech like a taradactyl,

but they had never until this moment fully realized that John Podesta was stupid enough

to send his password to the Russians.

This shocking news may have only swayed 0% of the electorate, but it was the crucial 0%

that put Donald Trump over the top.

As one voter told reporters, quote, after eight years of being unemployed and watching

Obama sell out American interests while he tried to force me to let boys into the girls'

room at my daughter's school, I was just about to vote for four more years of the same

until I read those dog-on emails, unquote.

So far, journalists, so for journalists, the question naturally arises, what did Trump

know and when did he become a Russian spy?

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