EP 279: Moving from Unhealthy to Healthy Relationships with Elizabeth
Life Coaching with Christine Hassler
Christine Hassler
4.8 • 1.7K Ratings
🗓️ 13 January 2021
⏱️ 33 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
This call is about breaking out of patterns and unhealthy relationships. Elizabeth calls in asking for daily mantras, actions, and tools to help her feel worthy of a loving relationship. She is struggling with enoughness. She wants to get over a "toxic" relationship from her past and truly embrace, rather than sabotage, the healthy relationship she is in now. We get to the fundamental ouch or significant life event that created the misunderstanding that perpetuates her feelings of not being enough.
[For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode279]
The feeling of not-enoughness is a major human problem. Eventually, we will evolve out of this not-enoughness thinking and raise children differently so we all don't have to have this major human epidemic. Know that by listening to this show, doing inner work, and feeding yourself the truth, you are doing your part to evolve human consciousness.
Nothing outside of you can fulfill you and nothing external comes to you until you truly know that you are worthy and enough. That being said, we live in an interdependent world. And, although we cannot look to the outside world to make us happy, it is important to feel connected to others and attract and nurture healthy relationships, no matter where we are in our journey.
The brain may confuse familiarity with love because it was wired from an early age to make love an equation. Many learn that if they act a certain way they will get love. Conditional love can feel familiar. But, worthiness is not conditional.
Consider/Ask Yourself:
- Do you struggle with not feeling enough?
- Have you ever had a "toxic" relationship?
- Do you doubt that the people in your life really love you and see you? Do you fear that you will not measure up in some way?
- Is there a fierce inner critic that lives inside your head? And, even though you know you should be nicer to yourself, you can't seem to change your self-talk?
Elizabeth's Question:
Elizabeth is searching for some daily mantras or actions that will make her feel enough and worthy.
Elizabeth's Key Insights and Ahas:
- She is having difficulty connecting her intellect with her heart.
- She feels not enough and that her life is pointless.
- She verbalizes the chaos she feels in her mind.
- She was in an eight-year "toxic" relationship.
- She has "love" attached to feeling a certain way.
- She has trouble quieting her inner critic.
How to Get Over It and On With It:
- Be in the present moment and feel her feelings.
- Stop and breathe when her mind starts racing.
- Realize nothing is wrong with her.
- Forgive herself for confusing familiarity with love.
- Give her inner critic a new job description.
- Practice release writing when her inner critic is bratty.
Takeaways For You:
- If you struggle with not-enoughness, when you feel it coming on, stop and think that you are hungry for the truth. And then, feed yourself some truth.
- Watch your language and watch what you are affirming.
- Slow down! Drop in and breathe.
- Give things you want to shift a new job description and a new role.
- If you want some additional help join my Personal Mastery Course.
- Join us for the Be the Queen program.
Resources:
Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community
Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner
Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler
@ChristineHassler on Instagram
@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram
Assist@ChristineHassler.com
Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | This is episode 279 moved from unhealthy to healthy relationships with Elizabeth. |
| 0:07.2 | Welcome to Over It and On With It. I'm your host Christine Hasler and for over a decade I've been a life coach, speaker, and author. |
| 0:15.0 | Each week you'll hear me work directly with a caller as I coach them through a goal they want to |
| 0:18.5 | accomplish or an obstacle they may be facing. I'll provide a blend of practical |
| 0:22.4 | and spiritual advice as well as tangible actions |
| 0:24.8 | you can apply to your own life. Now let's get on with the episode. |
| 0:28.4 | Hi everybody and welcome back to this show. I'm just finishing up my week-long |
| 0:38.0 | retreat at Dr Jodispenza. You probably heard me talk about it on the |
| 0:41.6 | coaches corner last week or if you |
| 0:43.2 | follow me on Instagram and if you don't follow me on Instagram please do it's |
| 0:46.8 | Christine Hasler it's a social media platform I used the most and I'll honest, I did not have the space because I was meditating and attending a retreat for, gosh, 12, 13 hours a day to do a fresh |
| 1:02.3 | episode for you. So I am replaying. a favorites and even if you've listened to every episode this is a great one to |
| 1:13.9 | re-listen to because there's so many tidbits that come out of this and even if |
| 1:19.4 | you're in a healthy relationship or relationships aren't the area where you seem to struggle or have |
| 1:26.2 | most of your lessons. |
| 1:27.7 | This is still an important episode to listen to you because I talk so much about breaking out of patterns and breaking out of |
| 1:35.0 | patterns and habitual motions was my biggest takeaway from Dr Joe. |
| 1:40.0 | It's the second time I've been his advanced retreat and this time it was easier. |
| 1:45.9 | The meditations were easier. |
| 1:47.1 | Still hard, but he's here, especially the 4 a.m. one that lasts 4.5 hours. |
| 1:51.9 | But they were, I noticed that I was able to drop in easier. |
| 1:56.6 | I still had my thoughts and my mind wandering. |
... |
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