Ep 264: The Rizzler, Dave Attell, Greg Fitzsimmons, Shaun Murphy - Happy New Year - We MIght Be Drunk

We Might Be Drunk

Sam Morril and Mark Normand

Comedy, Tv & Film

4.7 • 2.8K Ratings

🗓️ 29 December 2025

⏱️ 88 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

No guest this week… just kidding. It’s the New Year’s chaos episode. Mark and Sam are joined by Greg Fitzsimmons, Dave Attell, Shaun Murphy, and a surprise appearance from the Rizzler. They cover comedy road stories, sobriety scares, porn rabbit holes, crowd work fatigue, New Year’s peeves, airline annoyances, mocktails, stand-up burnout, and why kids don’t drink anymore. Plus, an all-time wild prank story, tour talk, and a very unhinged holiday hang. Sponsored by: HIMS Get simple, discreet access to personalized care for ED, hair loss, weight loss, and more. https://www.hims.com/drunk Soul 30% off wellness gummies and alcohol-free drinks that help you relax and unwind. Use code WMBD https://getsoul.com Shopify Start selling today with Shopify. $1 per month trial. https://www.shopify.com/drunk Raycon 20% off Raycon Essential Open Earbuds. https://buyraycon.com/mightbedrunkopen The Perfect Jean15% off your first order with code DRUNK15. https://theperfectjean.nyc Mint Mobile Unlimited plans starting at $15/month. https://www.mintmobile.com/wmbd Subscribe to We Might Be Drunk: https://bit.ly/SubscribeToWMBD Merch: https://wemightbedrunkpod.com Clips Channel: https://bit.ly/WMBDClips Sam Morril: https://punchup.live/sammorril/tickets Mark Normand: https://punchup.live/marknormand/tickets ⸻ Produced by Gotham Production Studios: https://www.gothamproductionstudios.com @GothamProductionStudios Producer: https://www.instagram.com/mrmatthewpeters #WeMightBeDrunk #MarkNormand #SamMorril #GregFitzsimmons #DaveAttell #Rizzler #ComedyPodcast #StandUpComedy #NewYearsEpisode #BodegaCatWhiskey00:00 Opening Banter & Guest Introduction 02:30 Funny Takes on Body Types & Seinfeld 05:50 Comedy Styles & Moving on Stage 10:00 Night Owl Comedians & Attel Stories 15:00 Comedy Road Stories & Alaska Prank 22:00 Skankfest & Comedy Scene Rumors 26:00 Unexpected Drop-In: The Rizzler Joins 29:00 Interviewing The Rizzler: Viral Kid Life 34:00 Marvel Legends, Candy & Lap Photo Hijinks 38:00 Rizzler Departs & Backstage Reactions 43:00 Oscars Moving to YouTube & Ellen Gossip 48:00 Comedy Specials & Platforms Discussed 53:00 Opening Acts & Crowd Work Ethics 58:00 Comedian Peeves & Road Life Gripes 01:04:00 Tour Dates & Club Stories 01:10:00 Mocktails, Merch & Closing Peeves 01:16:00 Favorite Comedy Cities & Prolific Comics 01:21:00 Final Plugs, Announcements & Credits Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	We're here.
0:07.8	Happy New Year.
0:09.7	We got Greg Fitzsimmons here.
0:11.6	The King Fitzstone.
0:12.6	I don't remember what you were just saying.
0:13.6	I tell and I rolled.
0:14.6	Is this gay to sit like this?
0:16.2	Yeah, it is gay.
0:17.3	What are you doing?
0:18.6	What are you, Gavin Newsome?
0:20.1	I think if you have thick legs, it's not too bad, but when you have skinny legs and one, like, really wraps around the other one? What is with the Irish? They can't develop leg muscle. Or asses. That's true. Yeah, you guys have no asses. What is that? Yeah. It's like Asian women. Yeah. It's like you look at an Asian woman and the perfect lips and the smooth skin. I fuck both and it's disappointing every wish way.
0:41.4	Really? like Asian women. It's like you look at an Asian women and the perfect lips and the smooth
0:38.2	skin. I fuck both and it's disappointing every wish way. Really? Oh yeah, Irish men terrible.
0:43.4	Irish man and Asian women, same dick. No, but you're hung, you're hung. I'm hung. We've established
0:50.0	that. And on the last episode, Mark made Scott Ruggowski talk about his dick. Yeah. We were like, what is, what are we doing here? Yeah, well, I thought he had a micro, but he didn't, so I learned. Maybe instead of headshots, you should have dick pics. Milton Burrell is the whole wall. Uncle milty. Yeah. How are you hung? I'm in the middle. I'm like stock Camry Right right You know nothing flashy But not too disappointing Good shape Yeah solid shape Curves to the left As you get older you have like Good and Bad Dick days Yeah When you're young it's always kind of more And then you get older you're like Today's a good day I hope someone sees it Ah yes If they don't ask, I'll show it to someone.'re like, today's a good day, I hope someone sees it.
1:29.7	Ah, yes, if they don't ask, I'll show it to someone.
1:46.1	Right. Go outside a schoolyard, I'll show them who's boss. But, no, it's good and bad days. It's interesting. Yeah, that's true. It's like a good hair day, you know? Yeah, good point. Yeah, the worst is that whenever you do see people naked, you're skinny dipping, which is the least idea.
1:48.2	Yeah, good point.
1:49.2	Like when we were teenagers, there was a town pool.
1:52.7	I grew up in Tarrytown, and we had a town pool and we used to drink all night.
1:57.0	You know, we were like 15 years old and Yeah. And then we would break into the pool.
2:01.0	We jumped the fence.
	...

Please login to see the full transcript.

Previous episode | Next episode

Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Sam Morril and Mark Normand, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.

Generated transcripts are the property of Sam Morril and Mark Normand and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.