I'm speaking to you on behalf of the United States Federal Reserve. Grocery prices, gas prices,

entertainment prices. They all just refuse to stop rising. And even if the straight of Hormuz

opens back up, the prices ain't going back down. And we just like you to know it's your fault.

This is the price you pay for freedom, even though we're busy taking that away.

This is the price you pay for safety, even though in the past year, more Americans have attended a mass shooting than a Catholic Mass.

And most importantly, this is the price you pay

for asking too many questions about Epstein.

After all, we did the war and tanked the economy to distract you.

And it worked.

So don't hate the player.

Hate the game.

It's time for you to take personal responsibility.

Oh, your rent keeps going up while your wages keep going down?

Well, I notice that you're also paying more for the fast casual swap lunch that private

equity is ruined.

What's up with that, bro?

Maybe that's your problem.

Time to tighten the belt.

Take a cue from President Trump,

who saved money this weekend by skipping his son's wedding. Forget your family exists.

They're weighing you down. You could always just let a YouTuber like Caleb Hammer or David Ramsey financially audit you in front of the entire

internet, comb through every dollar you spend, and prove what a scumbag you are for being

...