Daily wire cultural correspondent Michael Knowles wrote an excellent article this week called

an actual Conservatives Guide to the Alt-Right, eight things you need to know.

I'm sure some of you sought and said to yourself, I would like to read that article.

If it didn't involve laboriously running my eyes back and forth over the page,

identifying letters and straining them together to make words which I would then have to go through

all the trouble of understanding. Fortunately, it's for lazy, ignorant, unmotivated people like

yourselves that we have the Andrew Klavin show. So today we're going to summarize Knowles' article

exactly as if we had read it ourselves instead of getting distracted by a marathon rerun of the

first season of Big Brother. What are the eight things you need to know about the alt-right,

the motley collection of low-life racists and Nazi slave minds who fooled themselves into thinking

that being erroneical about the fact that their evil somehow saves them from being the moral scum

they obviously are. Okay, what are the other seven things you need to know? Number two, racism

is the movement's central premise. White identity is a favorite theme of alt-righters because it

allows them to feel superior to other people without having to take the trouble to actually

accomplish anything. Sure, a black person might hit a home run or create a work of art,

but alt-righters have pink colored skin, so they're special because something, something, something.

Number three, the alt-right is anti-Semitic. The alt-right likes to isolate and make fun of Jewish

people by putting parentheses around their names. So you may say, well, Albert Einstein explained

space-time and Jonas Salk, cured polio and then like Louis B. Mare invented the American movie

business, but the alt-right would answer yes, but we put parentheses around their names. So that's

a big accomplishment too. Number four, the alt-right is tech savvy with roots in Silicon Valley. That's

good news because it means they're actually unlikely to engage in any activity that might cause

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