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Many of you watching the debate last night might have been thinking to yourself,

holy crap, my country's going down the toilet, in a gigantic world of oafull that bears an uncanny resemblance to one candidate who's a neurotic,

ignoramus, and another who's the incarnation of evil.

But let's look at it in a more positive light.

Yes, it's true. Hillary Clinton came across as a robotic avatar of pure corruption, her predatory smile, hiding,

a soulless emptiness that seeks nothing but its own profit, even at the expense of the nation that nurtured her and its bosom as a healthy organ nurses the cancer that will one day destroy it.

And yes, it's likewise true that Donald Trump is so incredibly stupid that if he bumped into a wall in the Oval Office, he'd get stuck in the corner.

Even though the office is like an oval, and there are no corners for him to get stuck in,

but it would just be like his stupidity would make a corner out of it because his stupidity is just that enormous, and then he just keep bumping into the same corner again and again forever.

And yes, we also have to admit that Hillary did remind us of a living postural of infectious wickedness that seemed to have arisen like an unthinkable pimple on the nose of the George Washington face on Mount Rushmore,

which then popped, releasing the pus of anality to drool down the face of our iconic president,

thus symbolically transforming a nation that was once noble and beautiful into a horrific image of disease and putridity, such that everything it comes in contact with becomes little more than the reflection of its own gangrenous decadence.

And okay, Trump is a third-rate bully boy without enough intelligence under his bizarre hair to allow him to find the capital of Wisconsin on a map that had the shape of Wisconsin outlined with the word Wisconsin on it,

and a big star in the middle with an arrow pointing at it next to the words, this is Madison, the capital of Wisconsin.

And yes, Hillary is a slavering demon from all the molotorous sewers of hell flushed into the bloodstream of the country by the hand of a satanic fate that seems to mock us for our aspirations by setting before us a chrome-like image of our own most reprehensible cravings for power and self-destruction.

But the important thing is this, after watching the debate, I think all of us can come together as one, joined by the realization that we all live in a mighty republic dreamed up by the wisest political thinkers ever to have walked the earth and handed down to us Democrats and Republicans both so that we could transform it into a reality television cage match between the most wretchedly-fetted hell-yun on the planet and a lumbering ogre of almost unimaginable ignorance.

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