Ep. 189: Let's Talk About Chemistry
The Baggage Reclaim Sessions
Natalie Lue
4.9 • 867 Ratings
🗓️ 26 June 2020
⏱️ 40 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Chemistry, that hard-to-put-your-finger-on feeling that we experience (or think we do) with certain people is a relationship pothole that so many of us walk into time and again. Natalie breaks down why we mistake 'chemistry' for emotional disturbance and shares tips for breaking the habit to forge healthier relationships.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | I'm Natalie Lou and you're listening to the baggage reclaim sessions. |
| 0:08.0 | Hello, hello. |
| 0:09.0 | How are you doing? |
| 0:12.0 | I am hot, hot, hot, hot. It's a heat wave here and I work in my studio space at the end of my garden and it is so hot in here it's ridiculous. I have tried to cool it down with the fan but |
| 0:26.4 | obviously I've had to turn it off in order to do this episode so this definitely isn't |
| 0:31.6 | going to be a long one but it is a goody. So what am I talking |
| 0:36.4 | about today? Chemistry. Yeah. So back in the day when I tended to be involved with emotionally unavailable men who typically I wanted them to be six foot to six foot four but I would take you know sort of five ten at a minimum |
| 0:57.3 | They needed to have a good job a good sense of humor |
| 1:01.2 | Be intelligent be good looking but not too good looking because you know don't |
| 1:06.9 | want to have too much competition or they could be equid quirky looking and then they also needed to give me butterflies. They needed to give me a |
| 1:17.6 | sensation in my stomach that I later came to recognize as the familiarity of my pattern. I later came to realize that that |
| 1:30.1 | sort of leap that I would feel, this sort of excitement, it was just this recognition that yet again I was getting |
| 1:37.0 | involved with Mr Unavailables and I was in some very very painful |
| 1:40.9 | relationships and had I really at the time taken a closer look at what I was doing |
| 1:49.0 | I would have really had to question what this whole chemistry thing was about. And so something I've noticed |
| 1:54.9 | over the years since I experienced my own epiphany about my relationship habits and |
| 2:02.0 | since I started writing baggage reclaim which is now almost 15 years ago is that we tend to only go on about chemistry when we don't really have anything else particularly substantial to rest our relationship |
| 2:16.5 | has on. We go on about chemistry when we are almost justifying why we're continuing to be involved |
| 2:25.0 | with somebody who we can't actually forge any kind of relationship with. |
| 2:30.0 | We go on about chemistry, when we're justifying where we're accepting crumbs. |
| 2:34.4 | We go on about chemistry when on some level we know that we don't actually know a great deal about the person. |
| 2:42.4 | Chemistry is this hard... a great deal about the person. |
... |
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