EP 188 — Christopher Ryan: Sex and Relationships
Spirit Gym with Paul Chek
Paul Chek
4.8 • 1K Ratings
🗓️ 10 May 2022
⏱️ 156 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Paul has talked about Sex at Dawn: How We Mate, Why We Stray and What It Means For Modern Relationships so much since starting his Living 4D podcast series more than three years ago, it was long overdue to check in with the book’s influential author, Christopher Ryan.
Chris shares the journey to led him to write Sex at Dawn and describes our very human and complicated relationship with sex in this career-spanning Living 4D conversation.
Learn more about Chris' work on his website and social media via Twitter and Instagram. Listen to his Tangentially Speaking podcast on Substack.
Show Notes
- How Chris’ assumptions about the sexes and sex fell apart. (9:05)
- Changing the cultural narrative about sex and coupling by examining hunter-gatherer societies. (17:29)
- Emotional obesity. (38:08)
- Are women now more interested in relationships with other women than men? (44:29)
- Comparing emotional and sexual monogamy. (1:02:33)
- Monogamy versus polygamy versus polyamory. (1:10:02)
- Ethical non-monogamy. (1:16:41)
- How can we use sex to cement interconnected relationships within a community? (1:27:21)
- When Chris realized he was non-monogamous. (1:36:01)
- Being sexual, an adult and a good example to your kids. (1:40:18)
- Libido: The essential energy for life. (1:51:15)
- Chris says Dan Savage is responsible the success of Sex at Dawn. (2:11:57)
- Pleasure cannot be monetized. (2:14:54)
- “When you’re lived a false life, either you’re wanting someone to tell you the truth or you’re desperate for them not to…” (2:27:07)
Resources
- Civilized to Death: The Price of Progress by Christopher Ryan
- Joseph Campbell and The Power of Myth series with Bill Moyers audiobook series
- The Moral Animal: Why We Are The Way We Are by Robert Wright
- Mama’s Last Hug: Animal Emotions and What They tell us About Ourselves by Frans de Waal
- Robert Wright on evolutionary psychology
- Voices of the First Day by Robert Lawlor
- The work of Dr. John Sarno and Dr. Clare Graves
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | It wasn't sexual. It felt like trust and love and community. |
| 0:07.0 | And that was something that struck me so hard and that's why I started thinking about sex at dawn is like wait a minute |
| 0:15.9 | we use sex to have babies and to cement one relationship |
| 0:21.8 | but what if sex was used in our species to cement the intermingling, interconnected |
| 0:27.8 | relationships of an entire hunter-gatherer community? |
| 0:31.6 | Which is probably more the truth. Which is the truth. Yeah, that's exactly |
| 0:35.1 | where my research was taking me, but then I had this experience that like brought it all |
| 0:39.6 | home to me, you know? Welcome to Living 4D with Paul Check. |
| 0:44.0 | Today's guest is New York Times best-selling author and speaker, Christopher Ryan. |
| 0:50.0 | Chris's work has been translated into over 20 languages and appeared all over, including |
| 0:55.3 | Netflix, HBO, MSNBC, Fox News, CNN, NPR, The New York Times, The Times of London, Playboy, The Washington Post, Time, Newsweek, National Geographic, and the Atlantic to name just a few. |
| 1:10.0 | Chris has been a featured speaker at TED, SXSW, the Festival of Dangerous Ideas at the Sydney Opera |
| 1:16.7 | House, the Portland Comedy Festival, the Einstein Forum in Pottsdam, Germany, and is a frequent |
| 1:22.0 | guest on the Joe Roggan experience and many other podcasts. |
| 1:25.7 | He's provided expert testimony in a Canadian constitutional hearing, |
| 1:30.1 | won a coveted Avian Award for Best Non-sex Performance in Marriage 2.0 |
| 1:35.2 | and popped up in dozens of documentary films and television shows. |
| 1:38.9 | If you enjoy today's episode, please consider leaving us a five-star rating and a warm review at the top of |
| 1:44.6 | the show page on Spotify or at the bottom of the show page if you were listening on |
| 1:48.4 | Apple Podcast your opinions matter and your ratings help us to grow and help more people to be |
| 1:53.6 | healthy find freedom of body and mind and to live their dreams. We hope you enjoy |
| 1:58.3 | today's episode with Paul and Chris on Sex and Relationship. |
... |
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